I've been pretty lazy about blogging and I honestly don't know that I'll get better anytime soon. Life is pretty good...boring in that nice way. Roger and I have both been working hard and Kaelyn continues to grow and amaze us everyday.
Since I last wrote, not much, and a lot has happened. We enjoyed the 4th of July with our annual Pyromania Mania party, we've taken family trips to the zoo and beach, done a lot of cooking, gardening, and shopping, and even got some relaxing time in. Yesterday we went to the Wine and Roses Winery for breakfast, followed by shopping at Sur La Table (my favorite!) and then home for dinner.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Home Sweet Home
I love traveling and going on vacations. Getting away from it all, relaxing, and experiencing new things are among my favorite things to do. But, hands down, the part I enjoy the most is coming home. There’s just something about our house, our bed, our routine, that I crave. Always, on the last day of any vacation, I will wake up in the morning and say “Today we get to go home!”
Last week, I had to attend a conference in Long Beach for work. Since Roger had some time off, we decided to make a little vacation out of it. We drove down to LA on Saturday morning and stopped in Valencia to visit Stacy. Sunday, we drove to Sunset Beach where we did some shopping and found the best little Greek food stand that made baklava milkshakes! Yum! Monday, we headed a few miles north to Long Beach, went to the Aquarium of the Pacific and discovered another Greek restaurant with the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten. The conference started on Tuesday, so while I was attending briefings, Roger and Kaelyn were able to go shopping and hang out at the beach. The weather wasn’t the best, but they had a good time. They even discovered a bookstore where everything was $1. We were able to get several children’s books and cookbooks. Thursday late afternoon, after the conference, we headed back home. And of course, by that time, I was really looking forward to it. We got home around 11:30pm and all of us pretty much passed out. Kaelyn slept the best she had all week that night.
Our time home was short lived…about 12 hours max. Friday morning, we got up early and started packing for our annual rafting trip. Roger had a quick repair job that morning, so most of the prep work was up to me. Luckily, Kaelyn slept in and even went down for her morning nap at the regular time, making it much easier for me to pack our things. We spent the next three days camping. The weather was perfect, but the river was low. I rafted for half a day and managed to get thrown out of the boat when we hit a rock too hard. Again, Sunday afternoon, when we packed up to leave, I was more than happy. I had Monday off too, so Alan and Jennifer were able to stop by for the day and hang out. They’ll be back next weekend too, which I’m really looking forward to.
Now, things are back to normal. Kae is on her regular routine, which means all of us are resting easier. Our front courtyard is done and it’s beautiful! So, not only do we get to enjoy being home, but we have a new project completed to enjoy on top of it. It couldn’t be better!
Last week, I had to attend a conference in Long Beach for work. Since Roger had some time off, we decided to make a little vacation out of it. We drove down to LA on Saturday morning and stopped in Valencia to visit Stacy. Sunday, we drove to Sunset Beach where we did some shopping and found the best little Greek food stand that made baklava milkshakes! Yum! Monday, we headed a few miles north to Long Beach, went to the Aquarium of the Pacific and discovered another Greek restaurant with the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten. The conference started on Tuesday, so while I was attending briefings, Roger and Kaelyn were able to go shopping and hang out at the beach. The weather wasn’t the best, but they had a good time. They even discovered a bookstore where everything was $1. We were able to get several children’s books and cookbooks. Thursday late afternoon, after the conference, we headed back home. And of course, by that time, I was really looking forward to it. We got home around 11:30pm and all of us pretty much passed out. Kaelyn slept the best she had all week that night.
Our time home was short lived…about 12 hours max. Friday morning, we got up early and started packing for our annual rafting trip. Roger had a quick repair job that morning, so most of the prep work was up to me. Luckily, Kaelyn slept in and even went down for her morning nap at the regular time, making it much easier for me to pack our things. We spent the next three days camping. The weather was perfect, but the river was low. I rafted for half a day and managed to get thrown out of the boat when we hit a rock too hard. Again, Sunday afternoon, when we packed up to leave, I was more than happy. I had Monday off too, so Alan and Jennifer were able to stop by for the day and hang out. They’ll be back next weekend too, which I’m really looking forward to.
Now, things are back to normal. Kae is on her regular routine, which means all of us are resting easier. Our front courtyard is done and it’s beautiful! So, not only do we get to enjoy being home, but we have a new project completed to enjoy on top of it. It couldn’t be better!
Monday, May 2, 2011
There I Was
“There I was” is a kind of game that Air Force fighter pilots play. One of them will stand up and tell some sort of story and then everyone joins in for a good laugh, a cheer, and some alcohol. Of all the times I’ve been in presence of this little ritual, I can’t say that I’ve ever listened to an entire story. I just don’t have the attention span…not to mention that the parts I do listen to don’t seem as great as the other pilots make them out to be. I guess it’s one of those things that if you’re not “in”, then you’ll never get it. And that’s just fine with me.
But last night, I was reminded of it. Not because of fighter pilots, but because last night was one of those moments in life that I’ll always remember. I was playing cards with my husband. Kaelyn had been asleep for almost an hour. It was one of those rare moments that I actually lost (and didn’t care). We were trying to decide if we would keep going on our current game, or just give Roger the win and start a new one. My cell phone was on the coffee table and I grabbed it. I just wanted to check up on a friend on Facebook. But, I never got to it. The first statuses that greeted me were mostly from old West Point friends, talking about military operations and victories. I’m sort of used to seeing posts like that from those guys and didn’t pay much attention for the first five seconds. Then it hit me. “Something happened.” That’s what I told Roger. He looked at me puzzled. Then, just another quick look at my feed and I got the answer. “Bin Laden is dead!” We turned on the tv and watched the news for the next few hours. A simple card game, emblazed in my memory forever.
There are a few times in history that I remember like this. When the Challenger exploded…I was in fifth grade. My teacher sent me and a boy (a trouble maker) to the library to run some errand. The tv was on and the librarian let us stay for a few minutes to watch the shuttle take off. Then it exploded. I wasn’t even sure what I was seeing. But, I knew something was wrong. We went back to our classroom and the boy told our teacher what happened. He was talking fast and excitedly. Our teacher said that it wasn’t funny. He shouldn’t say things like that. Then I said “It’s true.” Silence. The principal made an announcement, we had a moment of silence, and then we were sent home for the day.
I remember the day Princess Diana died. I was visiting a friend from West Point at Fort Knox. I was already a student at Purdue and it was a short drive down. He and I went to the movies and saw “Event Horizon”. The movie freaked me out and I didn’t want it to be the last thing I did that night so we went back to his apartment and turned on Saturday Night live…because it’s light hearted and funny. Then the show was interrupted with the news. But, I didn’t realize it at first. I thought I was still watching the show, and I told my friend “This isn’t funny at all! What a sick joke!” We changed the channel and saw that it was real.
On September 11, I was living in Japan, so it was already night time when it happened. There was a typhoon that night and our command centers were up prepping for the storm damage. I had the night off, and attended a dinner over at a friend’s house. It was raining pretty hard and I had just moved there, not familiar with the area. One of the guys said that if the roads were too flooded for me to drive back to my house, he’d call and tell me to stay. I was tired and after half an hour decided to leave and take my chances. Then the phone rang. My friends called for me to wait…because it was him. All I heard was “a plane crashed into the World Trade Center? Was it an accident or terrorists?” The house I was in didn’t have a television, so we attempted to log on the internet and get the news. By that time, the second plane had hit, and then we knew. We woke the guy next door up and told him we needed to watch his tv. He was confused, but let us in. Then we saw the images of the Pentagon. At that moment, I knew things would never be the same.
There are other things I remember…when we captured Hussein, when I first heard Roger’s name, where I was standing the moment I first heard that my favorite aunt had unexpectedly passed away.
And last night was another one of those moments. One of those times that something totally routine and innocuous becomes a memory. Moments that would otherwise be forgotten…a fifth grade trip to the library, a Saturday Night Live Show, a dinner, a card game…become important. They turn into a story I will tell Kaelyn…”Eight years before you were born, a tragedy occurred…then when you weren’t even two yet, while you were sleeping peacefully in your crib, a victory!”
But last night, I was reminded of it. Not because of fighter pilots, but because last night was one of those moments in life that I’ll always remember. I was playing cards with my husband. Kaelyn had been asleep for almost an hour. It was one of those rare moments that I actually lost (and didn’t care). We were trying to decide if we would keep going on our current game, or just give Roger the win and start a new one. My cell phone was on the coffee table and I grabbed it. I just wanted to check up on a friend on Facebook. But, I never got to it. The first statuses that greeted me were mostly from old West Point friends, talking about military operations and victories. I’m sort of used to seeing posts like that from those guys and didn’t pay much attention for the first five seconds. Then it hit me. “Something happened.” That’s what I told Roger. He looked at me puzzled. Then, just another quick look at my feed and I got the answer. “Bin Laden is dead!” We turned on the tv and watched the news for the next few hours. A simple card game, emblazed in my memory forever.
There are a few times in history that I remember like this. When the Challenger exploded…I was in fifth grade. My teacher sent me and a boy (a trouble maker) to the library to run some errand. The tv was on and the librarian let us stay for a few minutes to watch the shuttle take off. Then it exploded. I wasn’t even sure what I was seeing. But, I knew something was wrong. We went back to our classroom and the boy told our teacher what happened. He was talking fast and excitedly. Our teacher said that it wasn’t funny. He shouldn’t say things like that. Then I said “It’s true.” Silence. The principal made an announcement, we had a moment of silence, and then we were sent home for the day.
I remember the day Princess Diana died. I was visiting a friend from West Point at Fort Knox. I was already a student at Purdue and it was a short drive down. He and I went to the movies and saw “Event Horizon”. The movie freaked me out and I didn’t want it to be the last thing I did that night so we went back to his apartment and turned on Saturday Night live…because it’s light hearted and funny. Then the show was interrupted with the news. But, I didn’t realize it at first. I thought I was still watching the show, and I told my friend “This isn’t funny at all! What a sick joke!” We changed the channel and saw that it was real.
On September 11, I was living in Japan, so it was already night time when it happened. There was a typhoon that night and our command centers were up prepping for the storm damage. I had the night off, and attended a dinner over at a friend’s house. It was raining pretty hard and I had just moved there, not familiar with the area. One of the guys said that if the roads were too flooded for me to drive back to my house, he’d call and tell me to stay. I was tired and after half an hour decided to leave and take my chances. Then the phone rang. My friends called for me to wait…because it was him. All I heard was “a plane crashed into the World Trade Center? Was it an accident or terrorists?” The house I was in didn’t have a television, so we attempted to log on the internet and get the news. By that time, the second plane had hit, and then we knew. We woke the guy next door up and told him we needed to watch his tv. He was confused, but let us in. Then we saw the images of the Pentagon. At that moment, I knew things would never be the same.
There are other things I remember…when we captured Hussein, when I first heard Roger’s name, where I was standing the moment I first heard that my favorite aunt had unexpectedly passed away.
And last night was another one of those moments. One of those times that something totally routine and innocuous becomes a memory. Moments that would otherwise be forgotten…a fifth grade trip to the library, a Saturday Night Live Show, a dinner, a card game…become important. They turn into a story I will tell Kaelyn…”Eight years before you were born, a tragedy occurred…then when you weren’t even two yet, while you were sleeping peacefully in your crib, a victory!”
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Easter Weekend
Easter weekend was really good. We did some work in the yard on Saturday and Monday, but mostly just enjoyed the holiday. Kaelyn went on her first Easter egg hung on Thursday afternoon. Roger took her to our neighbor’s daycare. She quickly understood the concept…at least, to pick up egg-like objects and put them in her bag. She got one or two eggs on her own, several egg-sized and shaped rocks, and a small colorful bouncy ball. She did not understand why we made her put the rocks and ball back, but was at least easily distracted by the colorful eggs the other kids shared with her.
Sunday morning, we did another egg hunt in our backyard. We didn’t really hide the eggs, but instead scattered them around. I held the basket for her while she ran around picking up all the eggs and dropping them in. She had a great time and we got some excellent pictures out of it. That morning, when she woke up, I put her in her Easter dress and then let her walk into the dining room to discover her basket. It was priceless. She went straight for what is now her favorite toy (an egg shaped globe that lights up with spinning led-lights) and didn’t pay attention to anything else.
That afternoon, we went to Vickie’s house to have Easter dinner. Kaelyn got another bag of goodies from Vickie’s mother and had fun running around with the other kids. We enjoyed our meal and I managed to stay away from all the carbs and sugar (lost another 10 lbs so far). Roger did pretty good too. He passed up the dinner rolls in favor of eating dessert…a lemon cake. We brought the chocolate covered Easter eggs (rice krispies and peanut butter) home and are hoping they keep for another week when we’re going to allow ourselves to indulge a little bit.
I was supposed to be off Monday, but did have to go in for a meeting in the morning. Then, we went to look at some stone for our front patio, and took two trips to Home Depot to get the supplies we need to finish out our vegetable garden. Roger is off today so he and Kaelyn are at home working on it now.
That’s about all I have to report. Things are just so busy right now. It’s hard to find the time to write anything down (at least anything of any meaning), even though there is so much swimming in my head.
Sunday morning, we did another egg hunt in our backyard. We didn’t really hide the eggs, but instead scattered them around. I held the basket for her while she ran around picking up all the eggs and dropping them in. She had a great time and we got some excellent pictures out of it. That morning, when she woke up, I put her in her Easter dress and then let her walk into the dining room to discover her basket. It was priceless. She went straight for what is now her favorite toy (an egg shaped globe that lights up with spinning led-lights) and didn’t pay attention to anything else.
That afternoon, we went to Vickie’s house to have Easter dinner. Kaelyn got another bag of goodies from Vickie’s mother and had fun running around with the other kids. We enjoyed our meal and I managed to stay away from all the carbs and sugar (lost another 10 lbs so far). Roger did pretty good too. He passed up the dinner rolls in favor of eating dessert…a lemon cake. We brought the chocolate covered Easter eggs (rice krispies and peanut butter) home and are hoping they keep for another week when we’re going to allow ourselves to indulge a little bit.
I was supposed to be off Monday, but did have to go in for a meeting in the morning. Then, we went to look at some stone for our front patio, and took two trips to Home Depot to get the supplies we need to finish out our vegetable garden. Roger is off today so he and Kaelyn are at home working on it now.
That’s about all I have to report. Things are just so busy right now. It’s hard to find the time to write anything down (at least anything of any meaning), even though there is so much swimming in my head.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Plenty of Sunshine and a Funk
I had a three day weekend…which was much needed and appreciated. But, it didn’t really feel too much like I had Friday off since I monitored my blackberry all day in case something disastrous happened at work (it didn’t). We had a nice weekend. But it fell short of my expectations…as most things do these days. I don’t know why.
I imagined that I would sleep in for three days straight. We’d hang out with friends and go shopping. Do some yard work. Spend time relaxing. For the most part, we did all that. Except that sleeping in for me is waking up at 6am. I mentioned last week that we have officially started our front porch project. Roger had been talking to a contractor that was going to install a composite wood deck in the front and side of our house. The price was pretty good for what we were getting, but there was a lot of miscommunication about the type/size of pergola we wanted. And that caused them to feel like they had to do more research and re-do the quote. All of that was good and fine, until it started taking way too long. Roger called them back mid-week and told them to forget the pergola. If they could contract with us to build the deck, we’d work out the details of the pergola later. That conversation led them to want to re-write the quote for us to sign (instead of just crossing off the pergola and initialing). They wanted to get back with us in “a couple of days”.
Well, the couple of days ended Friday and when they hadn’t called back by lunch time, I was frustrated. I’m impatient by nature, but especially impatient when it comes to contractors. I feel like if they can’t even pay attention to what I’m asking for and return calls when they say they will, then how can I expect them to follow through with the project the right way? I wanted Roger to call them and tell them that they needed to present the new quote that day or we’d go with someone else. He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt because he’s just a nicer person than me. But, I was reminded that they’ve been slow with everything. Just getting the original quote to us took three weeks, then when they finally got it to us, they didn’t break the work out like we had asked, and specked the wrong pergola. Roger didn’t see it as bad as I did. He wanted me to be just a little more patient and wait until the next day for him to call.
I had none of it. Instead, I contacted the contractor I hired to landscape the backyard when I first moved into the house. He was reasonable and reliable. And the product was beautiful. He was able to come over Saturday morning and give us a quote for a stamped concrete porch with a stone wall/bench all the way around. More what we were picturing when we first started the project. It’s a little more money than the other guy had quoted, but he’s also doing more work (pulling out the roots, regarding the property, and extending the driveway). Roger agreed with me that we’d be better off going with this guy, so we signed with him. He starts in two weeks!
But, even though in the end, Roger said that it made more sense to use the second contractor and that what we’re getting will look nicer with our current architecture, etc, I sensed that he was frustrated that I didn’t just let him work things out with the other guy. I can see where I was wrong to just lose all my patience and take over. It’s a bad habit…one, I’m not sure I’ll ever have the strength to break.
And I think that set us up for the rest of the weekend. Not that it was bad, it just wasn’t great.
We went over to Vickie’s house on Friday so that Roger could move her AC unit (she’s having landscaping work done too). We had a small barbeque. Kaelyn ran around the backyard, and we stayed and watched a movie. We had planned to do some grocery shopping that afternoon, but didn’t leave Vickie’s until after 8pm. Kaelyn was sleeping, so I ended up going by myself, late at night, tired and frustrated.
Saturday, we had a camping expo to attend. Roger was a host. I pictured this being a few hours in the early afternoon and relaxing. I hate to admit it, but it was none of those. We both wanted to leave almost as soon as we got there. The idea itself was nice. Host a barbeque where people interested in camping/hiking events could come, browse at the displays, and meet the people that host the events. Since we do the rafting/camping trip every year, and that is coming up in a month, Roger was there to sell that trip. But, I think for people that maybe have never done anything with our group before, it was uncomfortable. The event was held in a member’s home, and I don’t think a lot of people felt at ease showing up to a stranger’s house. But, despite the low turnout, there was a good group of people there and we did have an ok time catching up with friends but I spent more time than anything chasing Kaelyn around…totally expected when you’re out with a toddler. The backyard had a pool, and open gate to the street, and a fire going…so all I saw is “danger, your daughter will die here!”. I was happy to finally leave and get her home safely.
Sunday, did turn out to be the day I had pictured. We made a trip to the dump to get rid of the trimmings from the bushes and trees we cut down last weekend, then back to the grocery store to pick up everything I had forgotten (which was a lot) on Friday night. We did some work in the backyard, grilled chicken and vegetables for a healthy dinner, and watched half of the latest Harry Potter movie.
Looking back, we had a good weekend. We enjoyed the nice weather and plenty of family time. But, I still couldn’t get my mood elevated enough to fully enjoy it. I sure hope I’m out of my funk soon. Maybe when things slow down at work…
I imagined that I would sleep in for three days straight. We’d hang out with friends and go shopping. Do some yard work. Spend time relaxing. For the most part, we did all that. Except that sleeping in for me is waking up at 6am. I mentioned last week that we have officially started our front porch project. Roger had been talking to a contractor that was going to install a composite wood deck in the front and side of our house. The price was pretty good for what we were getting, but there was a lot of miscommunication about the type/size of pergola we wanted. And that caused them to feel like they had to do more research and re-do the quote. All of that was good and fine, until it started taking way too long. Roger called them back mid-week and told them to forget the pergola. If they could contract with us to build the deck, we’d work out the details of the pergola later. That conversation led them to want to re-write the quote for us to sign (instead of just crossing off the pergola and initialing). They wanted to get back with us in “a couple of days”.
Well, the couple of days ended Friday and when they hadn’t called back by lunch time, I was frustrated. I’m impatient by nature, but especially impatient when it comes to contractors. I feel like if they can’t even pay attention to what I’m asking for and return calls when they say they will, then how can I expect them to follow through with the project the right way? I wanted Roger to call them and tell them that they needed to present the new quote that day or we’d go with someone else. He wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt because he’s just a nicer person than me. But, I was reminded that they’ve been slow with everything. Just getting the original quote to us took three weeks, then when they finally got it to us, they didn’t break the work out like we had asked, and specked the wrong pergola. Roger didn’t see it as bad as I did. He wanted me to be just a little more patient and wait until the next day for him to call.
I had none of it. Instead, I contacted the contractor I hired to landscape the backyard when I first moved into the house. He was reasonable and reliable. And the product was beautiful. He was able to come over Saturday morning and give us a quote for a stamped concrete porch with a stone wall/bench all the way around. More what we were picturing when we first started the project. It’s a little more money than the other guy had quoted, but he’s also doing more work (pulling out the roots, regarding the property, and extending the driveway). Roger agreed with me that we’d be better off going with this guy, so we signed with him. He starts in two weeks!
But, even though in the end, Roger said that it made more sense to use the second contractor and that what we’re getting will look nicer with our current architecture, etc, I sensed that he was frustrated that I didn’t just let him work things out with the other guy. I can see where I was wrong to just lose all my patience and take over. It’s a bad habit…one, I’m not sure I’ll ever have the strength to break.
And I think that set us up for the rest of the weekend. Not that it was bad, it just wasn’t great.
We went over to Vickie’s house on Friday so that Roger could move her AC unit (she’s having landscaping work done too). We had a small barbeque. Kaelyn ran around the backyard, and we stayed and watched a movie. We had planned to do some grocery shopping that afternoon, but didn’t leave Vickie’s until after 8pm. Kaelyn was sleeping, so I ended up going by myself, late at night, tired and frustrated.
Saturday, we had a camping expo to attend. Roger was a host. I pictured this being a few hours in the early afternoon and relaxing. I hate to admit it, but it was none of those. We both wanted to leave almost as soon as we got there. The idea itself was nice. Host a barbeque where people interested in camping/hiking events could come, browse at the displays, and meet the people that host the events. Since we do the rafting/camping trip every year, and that is coming up in a month, Roger was there to sell that trip. But, I think for people that maybe have never done anything with our group before, it was uncomfortable. The event was held in a member’s home, and I don’t think a lot of people felt at ease showing up to a stranger’s house. But, despite the low turnout, there was a good group of people there and we did have an ok time catching up with friends but I spent more time than anything chasing Kaelyn around…totally expected when you’re out with a toddler. The backyard had a pool, and open gate to the street, and a fire going…so all I saw is “danger, your daughter will die here!”. I was happy to finally leave and get her home safely.
Sunday, did turn out to be the day I had pictured. We made a trip to the dump to get rid of the trimmings from the bushes and trees we cut down last weekend, then back to the grocery store to pick up everything I had forgotten (which was a lot) on Friday night. We did some work in the backyard, grilled chicken and vegetables for a healthy dinner, and watched half of the latest Harry Potter movie.
Looking back, we had a good weekend. We enjoyed the nice weather and plenty of family time. But, I still couldn’t get my mood elevated enough to fully enjoy it. I sure hope I’m out of my funk soon. Maybe when things slow down at work…
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Bad Blogger
It seems that the more I have to write about, the less motivated I am to write. Needless to say, things have been crazy and finding the time and the energy to sit down and write it all down, has been difficult at best.
I’m working a lot. Even with the threat of Government shutdown and budget shortfalls, it seems that my projects remain top priority. There is still more work to do than time to do it. Coming home exhausted is no fun either. Physically, I just want to lie down and chill out, but mentally my mind is still racing with work problems, and I crave playing with Kaelyn and hanging out with Roger. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million and one directions. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t broken down yet.
But, aside from all that, things are pretty great. We have officially started our front deck/porch project. Just cutting down the overgrown bushes from the front and side of the house has made a huge difference. I’m not sure when the contractors will get in to start building; but hopefully, we can get them scheduled soon. Kaelyn continues to grow and amaze us every day. She is now trying to do summersaults. She’s not very good at them, but does get down into the right position and begs me to push her over. She’s talking more and more. Well, she’s always talked, but more and more we’re able to understand her. We’ve planted some vegetables and even have an herb garden. Everything is growing. The flowers are blooming. The weather is nice.
There are probably a thousand things I could write about. I know a lot has been happening, but truthfully, I can’t think of anything right now. I’m tired and have to get to work, so that’s what I’ll do. Hopefully, I’ll become a better blogger again soon.
I’m working a lot. Even with the threat of Government shutdown and budget shortfalls, it seems that my projects remain top priority. There is still more work to do than time to do it. Coming home exhausted is no fun either. Physically, I just want to lie down and chill out, but mentally my mind is still racing with work problems, and I crave playing with Kaelyn and hanging out with Roger. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million and one directions. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t broken down yet.
But, aside from all that, things are pretty great. We have officially started our front deck/porch project. Just cutting down the overgrown bushes from the front and side of the house has made a huge difference. I’m not sure when the contractors will get in to start building; but hopefully, we can get them scheduled soon. Kaelyn continues to grow and amaze us every day. She is now trying to do summersaults. She’s not very good at them, but does get down into the right position and begs me to push her over. She’s talking more and more. Well, she’s always talked, but more and more we’re able to understand her. We’ve planted some vegetables and even have an herb garden. Everything is growing. The flowers are blooming. The weather is nice.
There are probably a thousand things I could write about. I know a lot has been happening, but truthfully, I can’t think of anything right now. I’m tired and have to get to work, so that’s what I’ll do. Hopefully, I’ll become a better blogger again soon.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Unbalanced
In general, I’m not a “people pleaser.” I can count on one hand the number of people I truly want to be pleased with me. Everyone else is just a bonus. That’s not to say that I want to make people unhappy, or do things to make others not like me. I just don’t go out of my way to make sure everyone around me is completely happy all the time.
What I am, is a perfectionist. So, when I am asked (or I volunteer) to help a friend, or take on a project, or whatever, I’ll neglect everything about myself to make sure that my friend, or my project is perfect. For example, if I volunteer to help a friend find a new place to live, I will go out of my way to make sure that he/she finds the perfect place, gets the best deal, help pack the boxes, and throw the housewarming party. At work, it’s worse. Even though I hate bringing work home with me and try not to, if something isn’t going right with a project, or there’s a problem, I won’t be able to sleep at night until I find the perfect solution to bring everything back to normal.
When I first started college, I had a hard time finding balance in my life. I stressed out so much about making sure that my grades were perfect, my room was perfect, and everything else was perfect, that I didn’t have a lot of fun. That is, until I learned that I could reach perfection (or at least perfection enough for me) without spending all my time trying to achieve it. Basically, I learned the rule of “good enough” or in my case “perfect enough”. And as I got older, and joined the work force, that is where I developed my insane need to have as much separation between work and my social life as possible.
I tend to be the one to take on the toughest and most challenging projects at work. Not so much to please my bosses or make things easier for my coworkers, but more because I enjoy solving problems, and the bigger the problem, the better. When I first start a job, or a new project, I go through a period of time where I’ll work for insane hours and focus too much on the task at hand. Eventually, I find that happy medium of “good enough” and restore some semblance of balance to my life. Back in my single days, it was pretty easy, because I could work late and physically and emotionally exhaust myself, and then go home and shut everything off. If I didn’t want to, I didn’t have to talk to anyone, or do anything. Working hard was much easier back then.
Now, things are a little tougher. Roger and Kaelyn make up half the people that I want to please and when I go home, I stop being the perfect project manager and turn into the perfect wife and mother. I don’t get much time to rest or clear my head because I immediately start doing the things that will make my family happy. Cook a delicious dinner, play with Kaelyn, do the bath time and bedtime routines. I find balance, now, by allowing others to help me. If I have a headache, Roger can give Kae a bath and put her to bed. If Roger and I want a date night, we can ask friends to babysit. I pretty much learned that I don’t have to work a lot of overtime to do my job well, so I can make being with my family a priority. All of this is nice and has brought me more satisfaction, happiness, and balance than I’ve ever had before.
But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when my life goes off kilter. Last week, I agreed to take on new and additional responsibilities at work. The perfectionist in me has re-emerged…and I’m exhausted. I haven’t yet figured out how much (or how little) I can put into what I’m doing and still have everything be perfect…or “good enough.” So, I’m working longer, harder, and stressing a little more than normal. I come home and feel the guilt of being late and of neglecting the people I love the most. It’s emotionally draining. Until I figure out how to restore balance to my life, I feel…well…off balance.
Last week, was both tough and great at the same time. By Friday afternoon, all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed….in the hopes that I would feel refreshed in the morning. Instead, I met Roger and Kaelyn at Vickie’s house. Roger was installing some ceiling fans for her and she invited us to stay for dinner. By 8pm I was so tired I couldn’t even muster up the energy to drive home. I asked Roger if we could just leave my car behind. At that same time, I got word from Rob and Elisa that they had to leave Lake Tahoe early due to the severe weather. I offered to let them stay at our house overnight. This made me incredibly happy because I don’t see them very often, so getting an extra night and morning with them, unplanned, was exhilarating. But, the perfectionist in me came out. Roger brought me home, but I had to make sure the guest room and guest bathroom were perfect, that the little messes Roger had left in the house during the day were cleaned up. When they arrived, I stayed up late talking to them, which I’m truly grateful for, but it did leave me tired.
Saturday, instead of resting, I helped Vickie look for things for her backyard. It was raining and miserable. Roger got called in to work, and Kaelyn was being a typical 18 month old. I didn’t get home until 9pm, with a tired little girl, and an even more tired Mommy. I didn’t have enough time on Sunday to recover, and this week has been a challenge.
I’m sure, eventually, I will figure out a routine that works for me, Roger, and Kaelyn. Roger is incredibly supportive and more than willing to pick up my slack while I get used to new responsibilities. I love him so much for that. I’m ready to find the balance in my life again. Until then…I’m just tired.
What I am, is a perfectionist. So, when I am asked (or I volunteer) to help a friend, or take on a project, or whatever, I’ll neglect everything about myself to make sure that my friend, or my project is perfect. For example, if I volunteer to help a friend find a new place to live, I will go out of my way to make sure that he/she finds the perfect place, gets the best deal, help pack the boxes, and throw the housewarming party. At work, it’s worse. Even though I hate bringing work home with me and try not to, if something isn’t going right with a project, or there’s a problem, I won’t be able to sleep at night until I find the perfect solution to bring everything back to normal.
When I first started college, I had a hard time finding balance in my life. I stressed out so much about making sure that my grades were perfect, my room was perfect, and everything else was perfect, that I didn’t have a lot of fun. That is, until I learned that I could reach perfection (or at least perfection enough for me) without spending all my time trying to achieve it. Basically, I learned the rule of “good enough” or in my case “perfect enough”. And as I got older, and joined the work force, that is where I developed my insane need to have as much separation between work and my social life as possible.
I tend to be the one to take on the toughest and most challenging projects at work. Not so much to please my bosses or make things easier for my coworkers, but more because I enjoy solving problems, and the bigger the problem, the better. When I first start a job, or a new project, I go through a period of time where I’ll work for insane hours and focus too much on the task at hand. Eventually, I find that happy medium of “good enough” and restore some semblance of balance to my life. Back in my single days, it was pretty easy, because I could work late and physically and emotionally exhaust myself, and then go home and shut everything off. If I didn’t want to, I didn’t have to talk to anyone, or do anything. Working hard was much easier back then.
Now, things are a little tougher. Roger and Kaelyn make up half the people that I want to please and when I go home, I stop being the perfect project manager and turn into the perfect wife and mother. I don’t get much time to rest or clear my head because I immediately start doing the things that will make my family happy. Cook a delicious dinner, play with Kaelyn, do the bath time and bedtime routines. I find balance, now, by allowing others to help me. If I have a headache, Roger can give Kae a bath and put her to bed. If Roger and I want a date night, we can ask friends to babysit. I pretty much learned that I don’t have to work a lot of overtime to do my job well, so I can make being with my family a priority. All of this is nice and has brought me more satisfaction, happiness, and balance than I’ve ever had before.
But, that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when my life goes off kilter. Last week, I agreed to take on new and additional responsibilities at work. The perfectionist in me has re-emerged…and I’m exhausted. I haven’t yet figured out how much (or how little) I can put into what I’m doing and still have everything be perfect…or “good enough.” So, I’m working longer, harder, and stressing a little more than normal. I come home and feel the guilt of being late and of neglecting the people I love the most. It’s emotionally draining. Until I figure out how to restore balance to my life, I feel…well…off balance.
Last week, was both tough and great at the same time. By Friday afternoon, all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed….in the hopes that I would feel refreshed in the morning. Instead, I met Roger and Kaelyn at Vickie’s house. Roger was installing some ceiling fans for her and she invited us to stay for dinner. By 8pm I was so tired I couldn’t even muster up the energy to drive home. I asked Roger if we could just leave my car behind. At that same time, I got word from Rob and Elisa that they had to leave Lake Tahoe early due to the severe weather. I offered to let them stay at our house overnight. This made me incredibly happy because I don’t see them very often, so getting an extra night and morning with them, unplanned, was exhilarating. But, the perfectionist in me came out. Roger brought me home, but I had to make sure the guest room and guest bathroom were perfect, that the little messes Roger had left in the house during the day were cleaned up. When they arrived, I stayed up late talking to them, which I’m truly grateful for, but it did leave me tired.
Saturday, instead of resting, I helped Vickie look for things for her backyard. It was raining and miserable. Roger got called in to work, and Kaelyn was being a typical 18 month old. I didn’t get home until 9pm, with a tired little girl, and an even more tired Mommy. I didn’t have enough time on Sunday to recover, and this week has been a challenge.
I’m sure, eventually, I will figure out a routine that works for me, Roger, and Kaelyn. Roger is incredibly supportive and more than willing to pick up my slack while I get used to new responsibilities. I love him so much for that. I’m ready to find the balance in my life again. Until then…I’m just tired.
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