Somewhere between the building I work in and the parking garage I park in (about 2 blocks), I meet a (presumably) homeless man every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He sits on a planting box in front of a really cute apartment building. His shopping cart is always beside him. Every time I see him, his demeaner is the same. He greets everyone the same way..."Hello, beautiful"..."How are you lovely ladies doing?" etc. He compliments the looks of every woman that crosses his path. And the men? He asks them how they are and if they have spare change.
It occured to me yesterday as he greeted me that he has never asked me for money and I noticed that he didn't ask a single woman for a handout (at least not in the group that I was walking near at the time). For some reason, I was insulted. Is it discrimination? Pride? Why can he ask every man that crosses his path for money but not the women?
And why does this bother me? I'll never give him money even if asks me for it...only one of the reasons being that I rarely have cash on me. I have, in the past, offered to buy the coffee or the hamburger that I'm asked to provide my spare change for, but funny enough, no one has ever taken me up on the offer. It's disillutionment at best...I want to believe that people won't beg for money unless they really need it, that the "homeless" aren't going home at the end of the day and parking their shopping carts in their garages. I know that homelessness is a problem in many cities, including Sacramento...but, I've yet to meet to someone who actually seems grateful for what I do offer, which is the very thing they are usually asking me for...coffee and food. And now, to top it all off, I've met someone who is discriminatory about who he asks for a handout.
I know I'm being selfish and rediculous. I know that it's very likely that this guy is homeless, but just can't bring himself to ask women and children for money...maybe he doesn't even ask all the guys. And where he is on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Who knows...maybe a different corner. Here I sit, my husband sleeping on the couch beside me and my daughter sound asleep in her crib and I'm complaining because someone who does need to beg on the street isn't begging me for something I'm unwilling to give? This really is laughable. My biggest concern right now is that I'm staying up past my bedtime and might be tired as I get up to go to my very comfortable, financially stable and secure job. Yep, I have big problems and every right to complain....
On to the homefront. Kaelyn rolled over for the first time today! She's been "practicing" for weeks now...well over a month. She rolls from side to side and twists her little body in the hopes of flipping from her back to her stomach. The last few days she's managed to roll over on top of her arm (it being in the way has been her biggest obstacle)...she rolls on top of it, kicks and rolls right back over on her back. But tonight...I look away for one second and turn around and find her on her stomach and then, to my delight, got to witness her make the move by herself over and over again with little effort...the solution for her? Simply lift her head and get her body over her trapped arm. She was obviously as proud of herself for figuring this out and Roger and I were. Of course, flipping over means she's on her tummy...a position she doesn't enjoy being in for any length of time and now, she's trying to master rolling back over the other way...something I think she will probably master in the next few days (since it's a much easier move and it's a goal born clearly of her frustration). I love watching her grow and learn new things...seing the delight of the simplest things as she experiences them for the first time. What pure joy!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Step Back in Time
My first week at the Army Corps of Engineers is done and I feel like I stepped back in time 5 or 6 years. It's amazing how removed I had gotten from the military life, but within two hours of being at the Corps, I spun right back into the land of acronyms, forms, and more acronyms. And meetings!
There are obvious differences though...I'm no longer in uniform, I don't deploy, and the acronyms are different...but overall, the atmosphere is very much like being a civil engineer in the Air Force. After briefing the Colonel yesterday, I was actually surprised when I caught my image in the mirror and I wasn't the skinny girl in fatigues.
I'm going to like this new job. I've always enjoyed project management, I get more perks (like a gym membership), and more time with my family. I worked overtime the other day and getting home late still had me in my husbands arms by 4:30...that's amazing!
I won't be talking much about work here...that's not the purpose of this blog, so now that I've made the transition, I won't mention it much.
On to different stuff. Our plans for the weekend were to work on the backyard...Roger has done a lot of work out there and it's looking good. I thought we could finish the deck on the side of the house this weekend and move on to building the fireplace and seating next weekend. But, the forcast is rain...we're hoping not too heavy, but it does look like our little project will be delayed because of it.
We made plans to go to the drive in tonight. Roger and I both love it there, but this will be the first time, since Kaelyn, that we've gone. We are going to take her. I think that I should be able to feed her and put her to sleep as soon as we get there and have her sleep through the whole thing...keeping my fingers crossed!
There are obvious differences though...I'm no longer in uniform, I don't deploy, and the acronyms are different...but overall, the atmosphere is very much like being a civil engineer in the Air Force. After briefing the Colonel yesterday, I was actually surprised when I caught my image in the mirror and I wasn't the skinny girl in fatigues.
I'm going to like this new job. I've always enjoyed project management, I get more perks (like a gym membership), and more time with my family. I worked overtime the other day and getting home late still had me in my husbands arms by 4:30...that's amazing!
I won't be talking much about work here...that's not the purpose of this blog, so now that I've made the transition, I won't mention it much.
On to different stuff. Our plans for the weekend were to work on the backyard...Roger has done a lot of work out there and it's looking good. I thought we could finish the deck on the side of the house this weekend and move on to building the fireplace and seating next weekend. But, the forcast is rain...we're hoping not too heavy, but it does look like our little project will be delayed because of it.
We made plans to go to the drive in tonight. Roger and I both love it there, but this will be the first time, since Kaelyn, that we've gone. We are going to take her. I think that I should be able to feed her and put her to sleep as soon as we get there and have her sleep through the whole thing...keeping my fingers crossed!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bella Piazza
As predicted, Roger and I spent the day yesterday working on the backyard (mostly him) and doing taxes (all me), then relaxed with a nice dinner and some of our favorite, La Pinta Pomegranate Tequila!
To make up for our "non-Valentine's Day", we decided to head out to our favorite local winery, Bella Piazza, today for a family picnic. We made sandwiches and packed up some fruit and macaroni salad, and everything that Kaelyn needs, then headed out for the roughly hour long drive to Plymouth.
The weather was perfect...70 degrees and sunny! We stopped at Bella Piazza first and picked up some chilled white wine for our picnic then headed to their sister winery, Villa Toscano, to eat. Unfortunately, they were doing the pasta buffet there, and it was way too crowded, so instead, we turned around and went right back to Bella Piazza, where we ate by their water fountains.
Lunch was delicious and I have to say that I love the easy going attitude of my husband. Spending the day relaxing with him and enjoying the good weather was exactly what I needed and the perfect end to a long weekend.
Earlier this morning, I had the brilliant idea of taking some pictures of Kaelyn in wine-country. I put a really cute dress on her and was really looking forward to getting some more good pictures...but, of course, she decided that she would sleep the whole trip! And woke up about 10 minutes before we made it home! Oh well...she's cute sleeping too :) And it was nice having her quiet, so that Roger and I could concentrate on talking to each other instead of on her (I feel like a bad mom for saying that).
Now, we're home and Roger is back outside working. We decided to go out to dinner tonight too so I have even more time to relax.
Overall, we had a great weekend and I feel totally rejuvinated and ready to conquer the week ahead.
Tomorrow is my first day at the Army Corps of Engineers...I'm not that nervous, but I am a little anxious.
I'll write about my first day later.
To make up for our "non-Valentine's Day", we decided to head out to our favorite local winery, Bella Piazza, today for a family picnic. We made sandwiches and packed up some fruit and macaroni salad, and everything that Kaelyn needs, then headed out for the roughly hour long drive to Plymouth.
The weather was perfect...70 degrees and sunny! We stopped at Bella Piazza first and picked up some chilled white wine for our picnic then headed to their sister winery, Villa Toscano, to eat. Unfortunately, they were doing the pasta buffet there, and it was way too crowded, so instead, we turned around and went right back to Bella Piazza, where we ate by their water fountains.
Lunch was delicious and I have to say that I love the easy going attitude of my husband. Spending the day relaxing with him and enjoying the good weather was exactly what I needed and the perfect end to a long weekend.
Earlier this morning, I had the brilliant idea of taking some pictures of Kaelyn in wine-country. I put a really cute dress on her and was really looking forward to getting some more good pictures...but, of course, she decided that she would sleep the whole trip! And woke up about 10 minutes before we made it home! Oh well...she's cute sleeping too :) And it was nice having her quiet, so that Roger and I could concentrate on talking to each other instead of on her (I feel like a bad mom for saying that).
Now, we're home and Roger is back outside working. We decided to go out to dinner tonight too so I have even more time to relax.
Overall, we had a great weekend and I feel totally rejuvinated and ready to conquer the week ahead.
Tomorrow is my first day at the Army Corps of Engineers...I'm not that nervous, but I am a little anxious.
I'll write about my first day later.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Girls' Night Out
I grew up in a family where everyone my generation, besides me, is male. I am also in a male domintated career field, both in and out of of the Air Force. For that reason, I've always been comfortable around guys and have never considered myself the "typical girl" (whatever that means).
But because I'm so used to being the only girl, I've always appreciated really good girl friends. And I've been blessed in my life to have some amazing women friends. Strong, smart, funny and beautiful women who have taught me a lot about who I am as a woman in this world...something I don't really get from my male friendships.
I used to take for granted the time I spent with girlfriends. It was once a weekly occurance for me to go out dancing with them...we'd go to dinner, hang out at each others' houses, watch movies, and sometimes shop. There's an ease with my girlfriends that I don't get from guys. I can call them any time of the day or night and tell them a problem...they sympathize with me instead of doing the typical guy thing, which is try to fix it. And I've been able to find them wherever I live...and keep those relations up over time and great distances.
When Roger and I first became serious, I found it tough to balance my time between him and my girlfriends. Roger has always been willing to give me the time that I need and he even hangs out with us quite often, but it's a balance I haven't really gotten down. And since Kaelyn's arrival, time alone with girlfriends has pretty much disappeared.
My friends have supported me through some major changes in my life recently and as my friend, Stacy, pointed out to me on the phone yesterday...my life has changed in dramatic ways, but my friends' lives haven't. That got me thinking on how amazing it then is, that they still want to hang out with me...that they accept Roger and plan things that I can also bring Kaelyn to.
Last night, we decided to celebrate our friend, Klara's, birthday (even if a little late). We decided on dinner followed possibly by a night of dancing. And we decided to make it a girls' night. Roger and Kaelyn stayed home and I went out, for the first time since she was born, by myself. I expected to be full of anxiety. Even though I already leave Kaelyn during the day when I go to work, I've only socialized without her once...and that was on our anniversay.
But instead of anxious, I felt happy. Not to be without my husband and daughter, because I was more than thrilled to go back home to them, but because I felt like "the old Beth". We were right back where we were...talking, laughing, offering advice. It was as if the clock turned back three years. I was alreay grateful that my friendships were able to evolve with the changes in my life, but last night, I realized that it was even greater, that the evolution isn't permanent...we can go right back to being the way we've always been.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's dedicated to my family, but as promised, I will think of my friends and thank God for giving me such wonderful people to go through life with.
Vickie and Klara, I had a great time last night and hope that you did too...thank you for being the friends you are!
But because I'm so used to being the only girl, I've always appreciated really good girl friends. And I've been blessed in my life to have some amazing women friends. Strong, smart, funny and beautiful women who have taught me a lot about who I am as a woman in this world...something I don't really get from my male friendships.
I used to take for granted the time I spent with girlfriends. It was once a weekly occurance for me to go out dancing with them...we'd go to dinner, hang out at each others' houses, watch movies, and sometimes shop. There's an ease with my girlfriends that I don't get from guys. I can call them any time of the day or night and tell them a problem...they sympathize with me instead of doing the typical guy thing, which is try to fix it. And I've been able to find them wherever I live...and keep those relations up over time and great distances.
When Roger and I first became serious, I found it tough to balance my time between him and my girlfriends. Roger has always been willing to give me the time that I need and he even hangs out with us quite often, but it's a balance I haven't really gotten down. And since Kaelyn's arrival, time alone with girlfriends has pretty much disappeared.
My friends have supported me through some major changes in my life recently and as my friend, Stacy, pointed out to me on the phone yesterday...my life has changed in dramatic ways, but my friends' lives haven't. That got me thinking on how amazing it then is, that they still want to hang out with me...that they accept Roger and plan things that I can also bring Kaelyn to.
Last night, we decided to celebrate our friend, Klara's, birthday (even if a little late). We decided on dinner followed possibly by a night of dancing. And we decided to make it a girls' night. Roger and Kaelyn stayed home and I went out, for the first time since she was born, by myself. I expected to be full of anxiety. Even though I already leave Kaelyn during the day when I go to work, I've only socialized without her once...and that was on our anniversay.
But instead of anxious, I felt happy. Not to be without my husband and daughter, because I was more than thrilled to go back home to them, but because I felt like "the old Beth". We were right back where we were...talking, laughing, offering advice. It was as if the clock turned back three years. I was alreay grateful that my friendships were able to evolve with the changes in my life, but last night, I realized that it was even greater, that the evolution isn't permanent...we can go right back to being the way we've always been.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's dedicated to my family, but as promised, I will think of my friends and thank God for giving me such wonderful people to go through life with.
Vickie and Klara, I had a great time last night and hope that you did too...thank you for being the friends you are!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My Thoughts on Valentine's Day
I used to have a rule that I lived by for years:
I would not begin a relationship between my birthday (Sept 28) and Valentine's Day. This was mainly because I didn't like the stress of being in a new relationship and wondering "What, if anything, do I do for Christmas or Valentine's Day?"
I've only had three serious relationships in my life...the third, being my husband, Roger. But even for the previous two, I never really knew what to do about Valentine's Day. My high-school boyfriend and I were too poor to ever do anything special. And the other guy? I gotflowers at work one year and we broke up less than a month later (I think I might have sent him a "Happy V-day text...but ignored it otherwise. That was not why we broke up.)
I've never really liked the so-called "holiday". It puts way too much pressure on everyone...single, dating, or married. I mean, we just got done with Christmas and now, before we've even had time to fully recover, we have to think about what we're doing for Valentine's Day? Or be reminded that we're not in a romantic relationship? And for me and Roger, this "holiday" comes not only on the heals of Christmas, but Roger's birthday (Dec 3) and our Anniversay (Nov 22).
Part of the problem is that I've always thought that Valentine's Day was supposed to be a celebration of all love...romantic, family, and friendship. And it always annoyed me that the focus was so much on the romatic side of love, ignoring all others. But, I looked it up today, and it really is historically just supposed to be about romantic love...which is BS if you ask me.
I guess another problem is that even when I have wanted to acknowledge the day, I've had bad luck with it. For example, last year, was my and Roger's first Valentine's Day as a married couple...we spent it cleaning up a flood from a leaking boiler in an assisted living facility.
This year, barring any emergencies that call him away, we'll just keep working on our backyard (we are installing an outdoor kitchen) and maybe go out to dinner...although, more than likely, I'll cook us a big meal we can just eat while hanging out at home and watching movies...which we do most Sunday nights anyway.
As for the cards, flowers, chocolates, and jewelry...we won't do any of that. The important part is that I spend the day with Roger and Kaelyn and not put any expectations on how the day is going to go.
I'll also ignore the part where the day is just about romantic love...I'll take the time to think about ALL the people I love...Kaelyn, our extended family, and our friends. I doubt I'll get around to calling everyone and wishing them a happy day, but on Sunday, they will be just as much in my thoughts as Roger is. And to take it a step further, I will make an honest effort to acknowledge someone I love every day of the year, starting now.
I think Valentine's Day is pretty stupid...but, I like the concept of celebrating all the special people in our lives. I'm not always good at expressing that, but I do feel grateful for the friends and family I have...so to all of you...Happy Valentine's Day!
I would not begin a relationship between my birthday (Sept 28) and Valentine's Day. This was mainly because I didn't like the stress of being in a new relationship and wondering "What, if anything, do I do for Christmas or Valentine's Day?"
I've only had three serious relationships in my life...the third, being my husband, Roger. But even for the previous two, I never really knew what to do about Valentine's Day. My high-school boyfriend and I were too poor to ever do anything special. And the other guy? I gotflowers at work one year and we broke up less than a month later (I think I might have sent him a "Happy V-day text...but ignored it otherwise. That was not why we broke up.)
I've never really liked the so-called "holiday". It puts way too much pressure on everyone...single, dating, or married. I mean, we just got done with Christmas and now, before we've even had time to fully recover, we have to think about what we're doing for Valentine's Day? Or be reminded that we're not in a romantic relationship? And for me and Roger, this "holiday" comes not only on the heals of Christmas, but Roger's birthday (Dec 3) and our Anniversay (Nov 22).
Part of the problem is that I've always thought that Valentine's Day was supposed to be a celebration of all love...romantic, family, and friendship. And it always annoyed me that the focus was so much on the romatic side of love, ignoring all others. But, I looked it up today, and it really is historically just supposed to be about romantic love...which is BS if you ask me.
I guess another problem is that even when I have wanted to acknowledge the day, I've had bad luck with it. For example, last year, was my and Roger's first Valentine's Day as a married couple...we spent it cleaning up a flood from a leaking boiler in an assisted living facility.
This year, barring any emergencies that call him away, we'll just keep working on our backyard (we are installing an outdoor kitchen) and maybe go out to dinner...although, more than likely, I'll cook us a big meal we can just eat while hanging out at home and watching movies...which we do most Sunday nights anyway.
As for the cards, flowers, chocolates, and jewelry...we won't do any of that. The important part is that I spend the day with Roger and Kaelyn and not put any expectations on how the day is going to go.
I'll also ignore the part where the day is just about romantic love...I'll take the time to think about ALL the people I love...Kaelyn, our extended family, and our friends. I doubt I'll get around to calling everyone and wishing them a happy day, but on Sunday, they will be just as much in my thoughts as Roger is. And to take it a step further, I will make an honest effort to acknowledge someone I love every day of the year, starting now.
I think Valentine's Day is pretty stupid...but, I like the concept of celebrating all the special people in our lives. I'm not always good at expressing that, but I do feel grateful for the friends and family I have...so to all of you...Happy Valentine's Day!
Last Day of Work
Tomorrow is my last day of work here at MCM. I start with the Army Corps of Engineers on Tuesday.
Someone asked me the other day if I was excited. But I don't think that excitement is the right emotion. I'm not sure how I feel exactly. This company has been great to me and while I've worked hard and have stressed out, I've learned a tremendous amount and had a lot of fun in the last two years. I've met wonderful people and some that I will call friends for life. I will always be fond of my time here.
It was never my intention to leave. I always expected that I would spend the rest of my career here. So, it did come as a surprise when I got the opportunity to interview with the Corps and decided to go and "see what happens". I interviewed just a few days after Kaelyn was born and they contacted me with an offer just one week after I returned to work. Even then, I never thought I would take it.
But after much discussion with Roger, thinking, and praying, we decided that it was absolutely the best move I could make at this point. This job allows me to continue doing the work I love, comes with a pay increase, and the flexibility to spend more time with my family...which is the most important thing to me right now. Not to mention the stability we get in an unstable economy. For all that, I am very happy and grateful for my good fortune!
But even still, leaving MCM is hard. It's like breaking up with someone you still love...knowing it's for the best, but sad that the best thing means ending something so good.
So, while I'm sad to leave MCM and the decision did not come lightly, I am at peace with my choice. I know I'm doing the right thing...so maybe that does come with a little bit of excitement.
Someone asked me the other day if I was excited. But I don't think that excitement is the right emotion. I'm not sure how I feel exactly. This company has been great to me and while I've worked hard and have stressed out, I've learned a tremendous amount and had a lot of fun in the last two years. I've met wonderful people and some that I will call friends for life. I will always be fond of my time here.
It was never my intention to leave. I always expected that I would spend the rest of my career here. So, it did come as a surprise when I got the opportunity to interview with the Corps and decided to go and "see what happens". I interviewed just a few days after Kaelyn was born and they contacted me with an offer just one week after I returned to work. Even then, I never thought I would take it.
But after much discussion with Roger, thinking, and praying, we decided that it was absolutely the best move I could make at this point. This job allows me to continue doing the work I love, comes with a pay increase, and the flexibility to spend more time with my family...which is the most important thing to me right now. Not to mention the stability we get in an unstable economy. For all that, I am very happy and grateful for my good fortune!
But even still, leaving MCM is hard. It's like breaking up with someone you still love...knowing it's for the best, but sad that the best thing means ending something so good.
So, while I'm sad to leave MCM and the decision did not come lightly, I am at peace with my choice. I know I'm doing the right thing...so maybe that does come with a little bit of excitement.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Super Bowl Sunday
I'm not a big football fan...I'm barely aware of the Superbowl (although, I love the commercials). But, every year, just like millions of other Americans, I gather some place to watch the "big game"...or mainly, just eat the food and catch up with friends.
This year, that gathering place was our house. And while Roger and I don't have a small house, it's not huge either. I was a little surprised (and doubtful) when he told me that he thought we could comfortably have about 50 people over. But (never tell him I said this), he was right. We had three tv's going. One in the garage for those that wanted to smoke cigars and play poker during the game, one upstairs in our family room for those of us who weren't really watching and another one (brought out from our bedroom) in our living room for those that were actually interested in the game. In the end, we had about 30 people, but I can see how we could have easily put another 20 or 30 more in. I'm proud of both my husband and our house for being able to host so many.
Sunday morning, as we were preparing food and getting ready, the pre-game stuff was on tv. That's when I asked Roger, "Who's playing in the Superbowl?"..and lo and behold I find out that Drew Brees, a guy I knew in college, was the starting quaterback (and now MVP) in the Superbowl...that's a big deal for him and for any Purdue alma mater...but somehow that fact escaped me until the day of the game.
And just to further illustrate how "out of it" I am when it comes to the Superbowl...we apparently had a pool going. I don't understand too much about it...we had a grid and anyone could buy a square for $1...numbers were drawn and depending on the score each quarter, you could win $20/quarter. I guess I was pretty close to being the half time (maybe it was third quarter) winner, but a score at the last minute made someone else win.
Roger came running upstairs telling me that I was robbed and that $20 was taken out of my pocket. Confused, I just said "Don't be ridiculous...I never carry cash"...everyone laughed and I then had to explain some things:
1. I didn't know there was a pool going.
2. I didn't know I was in the pool (Roger must have bought be in).
3. I don't know what my numbers are.
4. I don't know the score.
5. I don't really care about the $20 one way or another.
The day was really great though. We got to hang out with good friends and even meet some new people. Our friend, Michelle, came over early and took some beautiful pictures of Kaelyn for us...I can't wait to get copies of them! In the end, I wasn't even as tired as I thought I would be. We had a relaxing and fun day and I'm definitely going to be willing to have 50 people over again in the future!
BS
This year, that gathering place was our house. And while Roger and I don't have a small house, it's not huge either. I was a little surprised (and doubtful) when he told me that he thought we could comfortably have about 50 people over. But (never tell him I said this), he was right. We had three tv's going. One in the garage for those that wanted to smoke cigars and play poker during the game, one upstairs in our family room for those of us who weren't really watching and another one (brought out from our bedroom) in our living room for those that were actually interested in the game. In the end, we had about 30 people, but I can see how we could have easily put another 20 or 30 more in. I'm proud of both my husband and our house for being able to host so many.
Sunday morning, as we were preparing food and getting ready, the pre-game stuff was on tv. That's when I asked Roger, "Who's playing in the Superbowl?"..and lo and behold I find out that Drew Brees, a guy I knew in college, was the starting quaterback (and now MVP) in the Superbowl...that's a big deal for him and for any Purdue alma mater...but somehow that fact escaped me until the day of the game.
And just to further illustrate how "out of it" I am when it comes to the Superbowl...we apparently had a pool going. I don't understand too much about it...we had a grid and anyone could buy a square for $1...numbers were drawn and depending on the score each quarter, you could win $20/quarter. I guess I was pretty close to being the half time (maybe it was third quarter) winner, but a score at the last minute made someone else win.
Roger came running upstairs telling me that I was robbed and that $20 was taken out of my pocket. Confused, I just said "Don't be ridiculous...I never carry cash"...everyone laughed and I then had to explain some things:
1. I didn't know there was a pool going.
2. I didn't know I was in the pool (Roger must have bought be in).
3. I don't know what my numbers are.
4. I don't know the score.
5. I don't really care about the $20 one way or another.
The day was really great though. We got to hang out with good friends and even meet some new people. Our friend, Michelle, came over early and took some beautiful pictures of Kaelyn for us...I can't wait to get copies of them! In the end, I wasn't even as tired as I thought I would be. We had a relaxing and fun day and I'm definitely going to be willing to have 50 people over again in the future!
BS
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