Is Tragedy Contagious?

When I was in college, my mother called me frantic.  There had been a tragic accident involving a girl around my age.  She died.  The cause of the accident was that one of her tires had a blowout and she lost control of her car.  My mom was sure that would happen to me too.  Never mind that they had just bought be four new tires.  My mom was convinced that something bad was about to happen to me.  Nothing did.

This was just one incident in a long line of times that my mom started worrying about me because of something that happened to someone else.  I always thought she was just crazy...and maybe she was.  But, I inherited the crazy, because now that I have a daughter of my own, I totally know how she feels.

It seems that everyone around me at work is dealing with some major tragedy right now.  A guy, with three young children, whose wife is undergoing cancer treatment.  A woman whose young nephew went into cardiac arrest yesterday.  Another woman, who sits right next to me, who is having heart surgery today and scared to death.  I'm surrounded by young people (and in one case a child) who are going through health problems way too early in life.  Yesterday, as I was helping my friend who had just heard about her nephew leave work, I started panicking.  There's no way I could handle something like that if it were me...if it were Kaelyn.  I started wondering what the symptoms of a heart attack are and made a mental note to look them up, just in case Kaelyn or Roger ever started experiencing them.

The day before, I asked the guy about his wife...and even though his words said that she was fine.  His face, and especially his eyes, said that he was dying inside.  I went back to my desk before I could burst into tears.  How could I ever face the possibility of not watching Kaelyn grow up?  If something were to happen to Roger, how would I find the strength to go on for her sake?

I know that tragedy isn't contagious, but I do get how my mom feels.  Hearing these things reminds you of how fragile life is and what a gift it is.  And while my heart aches for those that surround me, I do take a moment to be grateful that my family is safe.  But just knowing how lucky we are isn't always enough.  We are lucky...and one day it could be us.  And that has weighed heavily on me the last few days.

Last night, I took extra time to hold Kaelyn close.  She had no idea why I was so clingy, but embraced me anyway.  I believe she knew I needed some comforting, and her sweetness made me cling to her even tighter.  I took extra time to tell Roger how much I love him.  Every time he left or walked into a room, I told him.  Just in case something happened, I want him to know that.

Today, as I try to make it through work, I'll be waiting on phone calls from the two women mentioned here.  I hope they both call with good news.  Nephew is fine, surgery was fine...see you on Monday.