The week leading up to Thanksgiving was anything but relaxing…at least Thanksgiving day was…mostly.
The previous weekend was our first really big storm of the season. This started on Friday…the same day I had to return the bus to the airport. Somehow, I let Roger convince me that it would be faster for me to leave work a little early, drive to Folsom to pick up Kaelyn, then drive to the airport and meet him there. I had wanted him to go get Kaelyn and meet me at the airport, giving me time to get gas and return the vehicle while he was driving. I don’t know why I let him talk me into his plan. With the heavy rain, and most people in the area not knowing how to drive in it, traffic was horrendous. There were major accidents on every freeway. Roger beat me to the airport by over an hour. I left work at 3:30pm and by the time we got home it was almost 8!
The rest of the weekend wasn’t so bad. Klara postponed her move by a few weeks, so we were pretty much free to do our holiday shopping and clean up around the house. Saturday night we had dinner at Vickie’s mom’s house, but that was it as far as actual outings went. It rained all weekend, so we just stayed in, ate comfort food, and watched movies.
Monday was our anniversary. Neither Roger nor I made babysitting arrangements…sort of on purpose. I didn’t want to leave Kaelyn in Folsom and have dinner out there and our neighbors, who are our back-up date night sitters were out of town in Lake Tahoe. We decided we still wanted to celebrate, so after we exchanged our gifts (personalized aprons), the three of us went out to eat. Kaelyn’s gift to us was that she was extremely well behaved. We had a lovely evening and I was again, reminded, how blessed I am to have such a wonderful, loving, caring and devoted husband.
Tuesday night we went out to dinner again with friends. This time Kaelyn wasn’t so well behaved. She wasn’t bad, per se, but she was encouraged by some children at a table next to us to exchange in banter (yelling) and was so excited, she spilled most of her food on the floor. I was pretty happy, at that point, that there was only one more work day left for the week. Unfortunately, even that didn’t go as planned. Roger started feeling really sick on Tuesday night. He has had a sinus infection and chest congestion over the last few weeks and had even gone to the doctor about it. He was given some new inhalers and they seemed to work for a little while. Tuesday night, he started coughing and couldn’t stop. By Wednesday morning, he was short of breath and sluggish. I insisted that he go back to the doctor and he insisted that he go to work. At 8 am, he called me and said that he was having trouble breathing and had an appointment at 10. I took him to the doctor myself.
By the time we got through his appointment, got him comfortably resting at home and I got his prescriptions filled; it was time to get Kaelyn. Roger slept most of the day, but thanks to some much stronger drugs from the doctor, was feeling much better by Thursday afternoon. We were able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner together as a family and even made it to our friend’s house for dessert that night. I’m so grateful for that!
Friday morning, Roger still wasn’t 100% so I knew he wouldn’t be up for shopping with me. Vickie broke her toe earlier that week, so she was out too. I braved the black Friday deals by myself…did not enjoy it at all, but did get most of my Christmas shopping done, which makes me extremely happy. We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing at home…save for a quick outing to Hallmark on Saturday to get our new ornaments (Roger, Kaelyn, and I all get a new one each year).
Now, we’re back to our “normal” schedule…another full week. At least now, we are all healthy!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
"Dropped"
I dropped my baby.
Before I get too far…it wasn’t that bad. It’s not like the “did your mom drop you as a baby?” kind of bad. Here’s what happened, but first some background:
Kaelyn will be 14 months old this weekend, but she is a small child, only weighing 18 pounds. She was small at birth, due to her being premature, at only 5 lbs. She was below the charts, but quickly gained weight to be somewhere between the 5 and 10 percentile (25% for height) and she has grown steadily on that curve since (though I think she’s starting to jump…she gained a whole pound in just one month…which I think is a lot for this stage). Anyway, because she is still less than 20 lbs, we have not switched her car seat to face forward. We are looking for two new car seats because she is outgrowing her current one, but because we technically can’t face her forward yet, still use the infant car seat. Most of the time, the car seat just stays in the car and we carry her (or she moves herself) wherever we go. But, when I take her to the sitter, I leave the infant seat with her. That way, she can use it to take Kaelyn out and about during the day.
This morning, as I was dropping Kaelyn off, I got a huge sense of just how tired I really am. I was thinking how great it was that it’s Friday and even though we’ll probably all get home late again this evening (I still need to take the bus back to the airport), that at least I didn’t have anywhere to be too early tomorrow morning and could just relax a little bit. Marissa, our sitter’s four year old, opened the front door before I walked up and rushed out to meet us. Because my mind was wandering, she threw me off guard a little bit. As we approached the door, both Diana (our sitter) and her youngest daughter (who’s two) met us at the door. Marissa and her sister, though, stayed under my feet. So, as I was bending to put Kaelyn, still in her seat, on the floor, she slipped out of my hands (I will stress buckled in her seat) and the seat hit the floor a little hard (maybe fell an inch). The seat wobbled a little bit, but she landed right side up.
I will never forget this moment.
My sweet little girl looked up at me with her giant blue eyes; her mouth formed this perfect little sad face, and then came the tears. They were her tears, but I had to fight hard to hold mine back. I scooped her up and kissed her tear stained cheeks, but her sad cry just broke my heart. I know she’s ok, but the guilt will never subside. Marissa, still standing underneath me made the following comment “Mommy, baby Kaelyn’s mom dropped her!” And even though her mom corrected her…I didn’t really drop her, the damage was done. I dropped my baby.
Kaelyn was still crying when I left…and not crying because I was leaving, but crying over being “dropped”. The last thing I saw as I left for work, was her looking at Diana and pointing to her seat as if to say “the seat is making me cry”. At least she wasn’t pointing to me. Still, my heart is broken.
Before I get too far…it wasn’t that bad. It’s not like the “did your mom drop you as a baby?” kind of bad. Here’s what happened, but first some background:
Kaelyn will be 14 months old this weekend, but she is a small child, only weighing 18 pounds. She was small at birth, due to her being premature, at only 5 lbs. She was below the charts, but quickly gained weight to be somewhere between the 5 and 10 percentile (25% for height) and she has grown steadily on that curve since (though I think she’s starting to jump…she gained a whole pound in just one month…which I think is a lot for this stage). Anyway, because she is still less than 20 lbs, we have not switched her car seat to face forward. We are looking for two new car seats because she is outgrowing her current one, but because we technically can’t face her forward yet, still use the infant car seat. Most of the time, the car seat just stays in the car and we carry her (or she moves herself) wherever we go. But, when I take her to the sitter, I leave the infant seat with her. That way, she can use it to take Kaelyn out and about during the day.
This morning, as I was dropping Kaelyn off, I got a huge sense of just how tired I really am. I was thinking how great it was that it’s Friday and even though we’ll probably all get home late again this evening (I still need to take the bus back to the airport), that at least I didn’t have anywhere to be too early tomorrow morning and could just relax a little bit. Marissa, our sitter’s four year old, opened the front door before I walked up and rushed out to meet us. Because my mind was wandering, she threw me off guard a little bit. As we approached the door, both Diana (our sitter) and her youngest daughter (who’s two) met us at the door. Marissa and her sister, though, stayed under my feet. So, as I was bending to put Kaelyn, still in her seat, on the floor, she slipped out of my hands (I will stress buckled in her seat) and the seat hit the floor a little hard (maybe fell an inch). The seat wobbled a little bit, but she landed right side up.
I will never forget this moment.
My sweet little girl looked up at me with her giant blue eyes; her mouth formed this perfect little sad face, and then came the tears. They were her tears, but I had to fight hard to hold mine back. I scooped her up and kissed her tear stained cheeks, but her sad cry just broke my heart. I know she’s ok, but the guilt will never subside. Marissa, still standing underneath me made the following comment “Mommy, baby Kaelyn’s mom dropped her!” And even though her mom corrected her…I didn’t really drop her, the damage was done. I dropped my baby.
Kaelyn was still crying when I left…and not crying because I was leaving, but crying over being “dropped”. The last thing I saw as I left for work, was her looking at Diana and pointing to her seat as if to say “the seat is making me cry”. At least she wasn’t pointing to me. Still, my heart is broken.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Early Bird
It's 4am and I'm wide awake. I don't know why my body does this to me. I have a car again (mine was delivered last night..yay!) I don't have to get up at 3:30 so that we can all get where we need to be. I've been awake since 2:30. I didn't go to bed until close to midnight.
As an adult, I've never been much of a sleeper, but I can't say that it's because I'm full of energy and wide awake all the time. I don't know if it's mild insomnia or not. My sleep patterns are so irregular though. I'll go through periods where I sleep no more than four or five hours a night and others where I'm so tired and sleepy that I'll have trouble staying awake through a half hour show that starts at 7pm.
I've always gotten up early. Not because I want to, but because there always seems to be a reason to get up. And on the days where there's not (like today), I get up anyway.
My parents are morning people. I remember them always getting up at 4 or even earlier. They have been this way for as long as I can remember. They also go to bed insanely early, so at least they get their sleep.
I remember, as a West Point cadet, I was always tired. Any time I had the opportunity to take a nap, I would. My eyelids always felt heavy. On Saturday mornings, I would have the choice to sleep in or get up and eat brunch. I chose to sleep in every time. There were some days that I wouldn't get out of bed until after 1pm! We had a psychology teacher who, one day, promised us the secret to never being tired. I was really interested in this and anxiously anticipated learning this "secret". She was so dramatic about it. She waited until the last five minutes of class, then took a chair and placed it in the center of the room, sat down, and pointedly looked each one of us in the eyes. Then she spoke:
"The secret" she said "is to get up at the same time every single day. Even if you don't have to. Go to bed at the same time every day. Take naps that are 20 minutes or less." I can't lie. I was sorely disappointed. And I thought she was crazy. That advice was all well and good for people who with normal lives, but for us? I don't think so. We were run ragged day in and day out and still had to get up at 5 am every morning. I was exhausted. There was no way that less sleep was going to make me less tired! I never followed her advice...and I was always tired.
Since West Point, though, I have never been able to break the cycle of getting up early. At Purdue, even when my first class didn't start until 9, I would get up at 6 and be at school by 7:30am. Every day. I told everyone that I did this because finding parking after 8 was impossible and also because I liked doing my work at school...so I never had to do it at home. Both of these were true. But, in reality, I didn't have to get up that early. I just did. I told myself I had to do it, but thinking back, I really didn't. There was no need to put myself through that.
The military lifestyle is a guarantee of early mornings. I would have to be at PT by 6:30 am. Since then, though, I have no real reason to get up early...yet, I still do. I used to get up at 5am to go to the gym and work out with a trainer...that was a schedule I picked. And I hated it. When I was commuting to the Bay Bridge, I had no choice but to get up at 3:30am and after Kaelyn was born, sleep disappeared completely. But since she's been sleeping through the night and I switched to the Corps of Engineers, there's no reason for me to get up insanely early. Yet, when I had the choice to set my work schedule, I chose to start work at 6:30am.
The truth is, my early morning pattern is something I've always complained about, but when I think about it, it has mostly been my choice to keep the hours that I do. I rationalize it several ways...whether it's finding parking or having the desire to leave work early so that Kae and I can spend the afternoons together...there is always a "reason." But, the fact remains, it's my choice and I have no idea if I'm a glutton for punishment or if I truly am a morning person in denial.
I do love mornings. And I relish the times I can get up early and not have to go anywhere. It's the running around that I dislike so early in the morning...yet, it's the running around that usually dictates I get up as early as I do. I'm not sure that, at this stage in my life, I could sleep more if I wanted to...
...............
Last night was a bit hectic. After work, I went to meet with a possible new sitter for Kae. She's a sweet woman, who I instantly liked. But, I have my reservations. I have to make a choice that is best for Kae, not best for me and at this point, I'm not sure what that choice is, or even what the criteria is to make that decision on. Roger and I will have to talk and think about this over the weekend...and we still need to explore as many other options as we can before we make a final decision.
I didn't get home until close to 8pm. By the time I was done with the interview, and picked up Kaelyn, fighting traffic both ways, I was too exhausted to go the store. Luckily, Roger is great and went for me. Since he beat me home by almost two hours, he cooked dinner and had it ready for us. Kaelyn ate a lot and stayed up a little later than normal. Around 9, Kenny came over. His birthday was Tuesday and we had a cake for him. Fed him some dinner and caught up with him. My car was delivered at 11pm!
Now, I just need to find the time to return the bus....
As an adult, I've never been much of a sleeper, but I can't say that it's because I'm full of energy and wide awake all the time. I don't know if it's mild insomnia or not. My sleep patterns are so irregular though. I'll go through periods where I sleep no more than four or five hours a night and others where I'm so tired and sleepy that I'll have trouble staying awake through a half hour show that starts at 7pm.
I've always gotten up early. Not because I want to, but because there always seems to be a reason to get up. And on the days where there's not (like today), I get up anyway.
My parents are morning people. I remember them always getting up at 4 or even earlier. They have been this way for as long as I can remember. They also go to bed insanely early, so at least they get their sleep.
I remember, as a West Point cadet, I was always tired. Any time I had the opportunity to take a nap, I would. My eyelids always felt heavy. On Saturday mornings, I would have the choice to sleep in or get up and eat brunch. I chose to sleep in every time. There were some days that I wouldn't get out of bed until after 1pm! We had a psychology teacher who, one day, promised us the secret to never being tired. I was really interested in this and anxiously anticipated learning this "secret". She was so dramatic about it. She waited until the last five minutes of class, then took a chair and placed it in the center of the room, sat down, and pointedly looked each one of us in the eyes. Then she spoke:
"The secret" she said "is to get up at the same time every single day. Even if you don't have to. Go to bed at the same time every day. Take naps that are 20 minutes or less." I can't lie. I was sorely disappointed. And I thought she was crazy. That advice was all well and good for people who with normal lives, but for us? I don't think so. We were run ragged day in and day out and still had to get up at 5 am every morning. I was exhausted. There was no way that less sleep was going to make me less tired! I never followed her advice...and I was always tired.
Since West Point, though, I have never been able to break the cycle of getting up early. At Purdue, even when my first class didn't start until 9, I would get up at 6 and be at school by 7:30am. Every day. I told everyone that I did this because finding parking after 8 was impossible and also because I liked doing my work at school...so I never had to do it at home. Both of these were true. But, in reality, I didn't have to get up that early. I just did. I told myself I had to do it, but thinking back, I really didn't. There was no need to put myself through that.
The military lifestyle is a guarantee of early mornings. I would have to be at PT by 6:30 am. Since then, though, I have no real reason to get up early...yet, I still do. I used to get up at 5am to go to the gym and work out with a trainer...that was a schedule I picked. And I hated it. When I was commuting to the Bay Bridge, I had no choice but to get up at 3:30am and after Kaelyn was born, sleep disappeared completely. But since she's been sleeping through the night and I switched to the Corps of Engineers, there's no reason for me to get up insanely early. Yet, when I had the choice to set my work schedule, I chose to start work at 6:30am.
The truth is, my early morning pattern is something I've always complained about, but when I think about it, it has mostly been my choice to keep the hours that I do. I rationalize it several ways...whether it's finding parking or having the desire to leave work early so that Kae and I can spend the afternoons together...there is always a "reason." But, the fact remains, it's my choice and I have no idea if I'm a glutton for punishment or if I truly am a morning person in denial.
I do love mornings. And I relish the times I can get up early and not have to go anywhere. It's the running around that I dislike so early in the morning...yet, it's the running around that usually dictates I get up as early as I do. I'm not sure that, at this stage in my life, I could sleep more if I wanted to...
...............
Last night was a bit hectic. After work, I went to meet with a possible new sitter for Kae. She's a sweet woman, who I instantly liked. But, I have my reservations. I have to make a choice that is best for Kae, not best for me and at this point, I'm not sure what that choice is, or even what the criteria is to make that decision on. Roger and I will have to talk and think about this over the weekend...and we still need to explore as many other options as we can before we make a final decision.
I didn't get home until close to 8pm. By the time I was done with the interview, and picked up Kaelyn, fighting traffic both ways, I was too exhausted to go the store. Luckily, Roger is great and went for me. Since he beat me home by almost two hours, he cooked dinner and had it ready for us. Kaelyn ate a lot and stayed up a little later than normal. Around 9, Kenny came over. His birthday was Tuesday and we had a cake for him. Fed him some dinner and caught up with him. My car was delivered at 11pm!
Now, I just need to find the time to return the bus....
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Bus
When I was a brand new 2nd Lt, I was given the “very important” task of coordinating a visit with some dignitaries that were coming to see how great we AF Civil Engineers really are. The group consisted of a general, a couple of colonel’s and a NC senator. This was the first of many many visits that I headed, but it being my first, I was extremely nervous. Three days before the group was due to arrive; the airman I had assigned to drive the tour bus was in a motorcycle accident. It wasn’t serious, thank goodness, but I did find myself short a bus driver. Being the motivated LT that I was and without much time to find a competent replacement, I felt like I had no choice but to drive the bus myself. I took a competency test, and then a driving test…day and night, on and off the flight line. Two days later, I was legally licensed to operate a 40 passenger bus.
This skill (and license) was something I kept secret for the rest of my military career. I do not enjoy driving buses! And until today, I have never mentioned having this ability to anyone.
So, why now? Well, after just one day of our “new” schedule, it was clear that Roger and I could not function any longer on one vehicle. Getting up at 3:30 am just so that we can take a 40 minute drive to the baby sitter’s, a 45 minute drive to work (first mine, then his) and then repeat that drive again late in the afternoon, was unreasonable. The last two days reminded me of my schedule when I was commuting to the Bay Bridge construction sites. Roger’s 4-10’s are great for him, because he gets Friday’s off…but when I’m stuck at work that long because I’m dependant on him for transportation…and have to be at work on Friday too…well, it just wasn’t cutting it.
My car has been out of commission for three weeks and my patience with it has completely run out. Monday night, we got home at 7:30pm…after leaving the house at 5! Once Kaelyn was fed and in bed and Roger and I finally began to settle down for the evening, I told him that we either had to push for the car to be fixed in the next few days or have it towed to another mechanic. (For some background, we have a friend who owns a transmission shop that is doing us a favor in fixing my clutch, which went out…it’s taking so long because 1) paying customers come first, and 2) the dealer sent the wrong part twice). I also decided that to make it through the week and to save my sanity, I needed a rental car.
So, last night, after we picked up Kaelyn and stopped for dinner, we headed to the airport and got a rental…a GMC something or other that is huge! It happened to be cheaper than getting an economy car, so I took it, but it is just like driving a bus! It’s so wide and so long (2 rows of backseats) that it took me a good 20 minutes to get comfortable driving and turning it.
And, of course, because I broke down and rented the bus, we got a call from our mechanic friend informing us that the car would be fixed that night. If we wanted, he could drop it off in a couple of hours. I told him to forget it…we’ll pick it up sometime before Friday. Friday, I’m due to return the bus.
I’m interviewing a new baby sitter today after work (another reason why I needed separate transportation from Roger). This is a big step for me and not very easy. Kaelyn, Roger and I all love our current sitter and until now, I had always said that it was worth the 40 minute drive (one way) to her house to know that Kaelyn was with someone that I knew and trusted. The woman I’m seeing today is a stranger to me...although she comes at high recommendations of a few coworkers. But, she lives close to my work and if I can learn to trust her and Kaelyn enjoys spending time with her, then I’ll consider giving it a shot.
I have some concerns though. Aside from dealing with my anxiety for however long it will last, I’m not sure that this sitter has the ability to get Kae around other kids. Our current sitter has 5 and I really want Kaelyn to interact with children during the day. Not only for social reasons, but she’s just so happy around other children. I know that I can be more proactive in arranging play dates for Kaelyn after work and on the weekends and I will do this if I have to. I don’t really know anyone with kids Kaelyn’s age. Our neighbor has two: a three year old and a baby nine months younger than Kae. Katie, the three year old, comes over every now and then to visit Kae and Kae loves her! But this isn’t a routine thing, as Katie just decides to come over at her whim. We can see her every day for a month and then not again for another two. It just depends on her mood…and she’s three…what can we expect?
I have another option. Katie’s baby sitter who lives close to our home may have room for another child. She watches several. That would both solve the problem of the distance we drive and Kae’s interaction with children. It doesn’t solve my anxiety, but nothing but time will heal that.
I’m not sure what to do. Roger is being supportive and helpful, but he agrees that the drive right now, with his schedule being what it is, is just too long. And we always said that our number one priority is maximizing our family time, which right now is eaten up by the long drive to and from child care. Of course, this cannot come at the expense of Kae’s care and well-being and there’s where I’m having a hard time. I don’t trust easily.
I have a busy day ahead…work, then an interview with a possible sitter, then picking up Kaelyn and going grocery shopping. I’m letting Roger go straight home after work and I’ll run all the errands, because he needs to clear out our garage for his cigar club event. They are meeting at our house tomorrow. It will be another long day, but hopefully we’ll work something else out soon. At least I have the bus to help get me through!
This skill (and license) was something I kept secret for the rest of my military career. I do not enjoy driving buses! And until today, I have never mentioned having this ability to anyone.
So, why now? Well, after just one day of our “new” schedule, it was clear that Roger and I could not function any longer on one vehicle. Getting up at 3:30 am just so that we can take a 40 minute drive to the baby sitter’s, a 45 minute drive to work (first mine, then his) and then repeat that drive again late in the afternoon, was unreasonable. The last two days reminded me of my schedule when I was commuting to the Bay Bridge construction sites. Roger’s 4-10’s are great for him, because he gets Friday’s off…but when I’m stuck at work that long because I’m dependant on him for transportation…and have to be at work on Friday too…well, it just wasn’t cutting it.
My car has been out of commission for three weeks and my patience with it has completely run out. Monday night, we got home at 7:30pm…after leaving the house at 5! Once Kaelyn was fed and in bed and Roger and I finally began to settle down for the evening, I told him that we either had to push for the car to be fixed in the next few days or have it towed to another mechanic. (For some background, we have a friend who owns a transmission shop that is doing us a favor in fixing my clutch, which went out…it’s taking so long because 1) paying customers come first, and 2) the dealer sent the wrong part twice). I also decided that to make it through the week and to save my sanity, I needed a rental car.
So, last night, after we picked up Kaelyn and stopped for dinner, we headed to the airport and got a rental…a GMC something or other that is huge! It happened to be cheaper than getting an economy car, so I took it, but it is just like driving a bus! It’s so wide and so long (2 rows of backseats) that it took me a good 20 minutes to get comfortable driving and turning it.
And, of course, because I broke down and rented the bus, we got a call from our mechanic friend informing us that the car would be fixed that night. If we wanted, he could drop it off in a couple of hours. I told him to forget it…we’ll pick it up sometime before Friday. Friday, I’m due to return the bus.
I’m interviewing a new baby sitter today after work (another reason why I needed separate transportation from Roger). This is a big step for me and not very easy. Kaelyn, Roger and I all love our current sitter and until now, I had always said that it was worth the 40 minute drive (one way) to her house to know that Kaelyn was with someone that I knew and trusted. The woman I’m seeing today is a stranger to me...although she comes at high recommendations of a few coworkers. But, she lives close to my work and if I can learn to trust her and Kaelyn enjoys spending time with her, then I’ll consider giving it a shot.
I have some concerns though. Aside from dealing with my anxiety for however long it will last, I’m not sure that this sitter has the ability to get Kae around other kids. Our current sitter has 5 and I really want Kaelyn to interact with children during the day. Not only for social reasons, but she’s just so happy around other children. I know that I can be more proactive in arranging play dates for Kaelyn after work and on the weekends and I will do this if I have to. I don’t really know anyone with kids Kaelyn’s age. Our neighbor has two: a three year old and a baby nine months younger than Kae. Katie, the three year old, comes over every now and then to visit Kae and Kae loves her! But this isn’t a routine thing, as Katie just decides to come over at her whim. We can see her every day for a month and then not again for another two. It just depends on her mood…and she’s three…what can we expect?
I have another option. Katie’s baby sitter who lives close to our home may have room for another child. She watches several. That would both solve the problem of the distance we drive and Kae’s interaction with children. It doesn’t solve my anxiety, but nothing but time will heal that.
I’m not sure what to do. Roger is being supportive and helpful, but he agrees that the drive right now, with his schedule being what it is, is just too long. And we always said that our number one priority is maximizing our family time, which right now is eaten up by the long drive to and from child care. Of course, this cannot come at the expense of Kae’s care and well-being and there’s where I’m having a hard time. I don’t trust easily.
I have a busy day ahead…work, then an interview with a possible sitter, then picking up Kaelyn and going grocery shopping. I’m letting Roger go straight home after work and I’ll run all the errands, because he needs to clear out our garage for his cigar club event. They are meeting at our house tomorrow. It will be another long day, but hopefully we’ll work something else out soon. At least I have the bus to help get me through!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Moving
No worries…we are not moving!)
So much for a relaxing weekend. It wasn’t that bad, (at least I didn’t have to clean or do laundry), but it was far from relaxing. Roger worked late on Friday…finishing up a job before he started a new one today. Kaelyn and I spent a few hours together, eating dinner and playing. It was nice, but she’s gotten to be quite a handful in the last few days. She’s climbing now and into everything. She also craves constant attention. I’m not sure if she’s just bored with the toys we have in our family room for her to play with or not…she used to be so content just sitting on the floor playing with her toys and stacking her blocks. She loves it when we play with her, but never demanded it. Now, she won’t play by herself for longer than five minutes (and that’s stretching it). I can’t make a phone call, check email, or cook dinner without her whining for me to play with her or getting into something she shouldn’t. I think I’m going to try to switch out her toys to ones she hasn’t played with yet and see if that keeps her more engaged…at least for the times that I’m not able to devote all my attention to her. Also, she’s teething…which is not helping her mood…or mine.
Anyway, Roger got home after Kaelyn was in bed, and he and I got a chance to hang out a little bit before I fell asleep on the couch. We were up early on Saturday and where we normally sit around and do nothing until close to lunchtime, had to leave shortly after breakfast to go help L and E (newlyweds) move. I had briefly considered staying home with Kaelyn since she’s so energetic. I was sure that she would want to be into everything…and I was right. I let Roger talk me into going. We brought over Kaelyn’s pack-n-play and since it was close to her morning nap, I had attempted to just get her to sleep. No such luck. She was content to sit and play for a little while, but didn’t appreciate the fact that there was a house full of people and no one was paying attention solely to her. I managed to get her to sleep once the guys had left to get more furniture and E and I were alone…we were somewhat productive but it didn’t last long. Once the guys got back and we settled down for lunch, Roger let Kaelyn crawl around. That was the end of her being good. She took another pretty long nap in the afternoon, but that was after at least two hours of me chasing her around (or listening to her cry in the pack-n-play) while I was trying to help E get things organized.
Sunday wasn’t much better as far as Kaelyn’s behavior went…or my ability to relax. We went shopping and I’m happy to say that not only did I get the earliest start I’ve ever had on Christmas shopping (knocking quite a few off my list yesterday), but we got some amazing deals. Kaelyn had one episode where sitting in the stroller just wasn’t cutting it for her. And I guess I can understand that sitting still for several hours is hard when you’re so full of energy. We took a short break and let her run around the play area for a bit and that did enough to sufficiently wear her out and get her to nap. She woke up, still in her stroller, but in a much better mood than before. Back at home, she just wouldn’t sit still and while I know I can’t expect too much from a 13 month old who just learned to climb, I so wish she would have given us just 10 minutes of peace! Instead, she would cruise up to me and Roger and cry until we paid attention to her. I did eventually give up on relaxing and got down on the floor and played, which was so rewarding. She’s so engaging and fun! I just wish I could find a way to keep her content during the times that I can’t play with her! By the time she went to bed, I could barely stay awake…I think I lasted another hour tops!
………………..
It has occurred to me that I didn’t cook this weekend (except for breakfast on Sunday morning). This is odd for me and may be the reason why I didn’t feel very relaxed and rested (aside from Kaelyn). Cooking is therapeutic for me. I get lost in it and it definitely de-stresses me. I wonder why I let a whole weekend pass without making anything? That is so unlike me…
……………………
The alarm went off at 3:30 this morning and I was out of bed by 4. Roger was already awake…for at least an hour before me. He was not in bed when I had the pleasure of waking up to our cat, Itty Bitty, sneezing all over my face. (I really need to get her to the vet). Roger had to be at work by 6:30 this morning and since my car is STILL in the shop, he’s also stuck driving me to work. We had to leave home by 5:15 to get Kaelyn to the sitter…which is about a 40 minute drive from our house….then get back across town to go to our respective work places. I did not like the early morning. Not because I didn’t like getting up that early or leaving home that early, but because for the first time ever, Kaelyn wasn’t awake while I was getting ready for work. Even though I could be so much more efficient with her sleeping, our mornings are so joyful as we get ready and play and interact with her. I missed her this morning and was sad that I got to spend very little time with her (just a quick kiss goodbye after we dropped her off). If it turns out that Roger needs to be at work by 6: 30 every morning, then I will change my schedule to allow me to be at work a little bit later, so that I can leave at my normal time to drop her off and still get my morning time with her (I currently never drop her off..though sometimes have to pick her up). Our other option is to find child care closer to home, which will be tough since our current sitter is so awesome and totally worth the drive.
I really need my car back.
We are helping another friend move this weekend. Just to a different place in our city. She has mixed emotions about the move…it’s both for good and not so good reasons. I hope I can be the friend she needs through this transition.
So much for a relaxing weekend. It wasn’t that bad, (at least I didn’t have to clean or do laundry), but it was far from relaxing. Roger worked late on Friday…finishing up a job before he started a new one today. Kaelyn and I spent a few hours together, eating dinner and playing. It was nice, but she’s gotten to be quite a handful in the last few days. She’s climbing now and into everything. She also craves constant attention. I’m not sure if she’s just bored with the toys we have in our family room for her to play with or not…she used to be so content just sitting on the floor playing with her toys and stacking her blocks. She loves it when we play with her, but never demanded it. Now, she won’t play by herself for longer than five minutes (and that’s stretching it). I can’t make a phone call, check email, or cook dinner without her whining for me to play with her or getting into something she shouldn’t. I think I’m going to try to switch out her toys to ones she hasn’t played with yet and see if that keeps her more engaged…at least for the times that I’m not able to devote all my attention to her. Also, she’s teething…which is not helping her mood…or mine.
Anyway, Roger got home after Kaelyn was in bed, and he and I got a chance to hang out a little bit before I fell asleep on the couch. We were up early on Saturday and where we normally sit around and do nothing until close to lunchtime, had to leave shortly after breakfast to go help L and E (newlyweds) move. I had briefly considered staying home with Kaelyn since she’s so energetic. I was sure that she would want to be into everything…and I was right. I let Roger talk me into going. We brought over Kaelyn’s pack-n-play and since it was close to her morning nap, I had attempted to just get her to sleep. No such luck. She was content to sit and play for a little while, but didn’t appreciate the fact that there was a house full of people and no one was paying attention solely to her. I managed to get her to sleep once the guys had left to get more furniture and E and I were alone…we were somewhat productive but it didn’t last long. Once the guys got back and we settled down for lunch, Roger let Kaelyn crawl around. That was the end of her being good. She took another pretty long nap in the afternoon, but that was after at least two hours of me chasing her around (or listening to her cry in the pack-n-play) while I was trying to help E get things organized.
Sunday wasn’t much better as far as Kaelyn’s behavior went…or my ability to relax. We went shopping and I’m happy to say that not only did I get the earliest start I’ve ever had on Christmas shopping (knocking quite a few off my list yesterday), but we got some amazing deals. Kaelyn had one episode where sitting in the stroller just wasn’t cutting it for her. And I guess I can understand that sitting still for several hours is hard when you’re so full of energy. We took a short break and let her run around the play area for a bit and that did enough to sufficiently wear her out and get her to nap. She woke up, still in her stroller, but in a much better mood than before. Back at home, she just wouldn’t sit still and while I know I can’t expect too much from a 13 month old who just learned to climb, I so wish she would have given us just 10 minutes of peace! Instead, she would cruise up to me and Roger and cry until we paid attention to her. I did eventually give up on relaxing and got down on the floor and played, which was so rewarding. She’s so engaging and fun! I just wish I could find a way to keep her content during the times that I can’t play with her! By the time she went to bed, I could barely stay awake…I think I lasted another hour tops!
………………..
It has occurred to me that I didn’t cook this weekend (except for breakfast on Sunday morning). This is odd for me and may be the reason why I didn’t feel very relaxed and rested (aside from Kaelyn). Cooking is therapeutic for me. I get lost in it and it definitely de-stresses me. I wonder why I let a whole weekend pass without making anything? That is so unlike me…
……………………
The alarm went off at 3:30 this morning and I was out of bed by 4. Roger was already awake…for at least an hour before me. He was not in bed when I had the pleasure of waking up to our cat, Itty Bitty, sneezing all over my face. (I really need to get her to the vet). Roger had to be at work by 6:30 this morning and since my car is STILL in the shop, he’s also stuck driving me to work. We had to leave home by 5:15 to get Kaelyn to the sitter…which is about a 40 minute drive from our house….then get back across town to go to our respective work places. I did not like the early morning. Not because I didn’t like getting up that early or leaving home that early, but because for the first time ever, Kaelyn wasn’t awake while I was getting ready for work. Even though I could be so much more efficient with her sleeping, our mornings are so joyful as we get ready and play and interact with her. I missed her this morning and was sad that I got to spend very little time with her (just a quick kiss goodbye after we dropped her off). If it turns out that Roger needs to be at work by 6: 30 every morning, then I will change my schedule to allow me to be at work a little bit later, so that I can leave at my normal time to drop her off and still get my morning time with her (I currently never drop her off..though sometimes have to pick her up). Our other option is to find child care closer to home, which will be tough since our current sitter is so awesome and totally worth the drive.
I really need my car back.
We are helping another friend move this weekend. Just to a different place in our city. She has mixed emotions about the move…it’s both for good and not so good reasons. I hope I can be the friend she needs through this transition.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Veterans' Day
It's nice having a day off in the middle of the week. I was able to get all the errand-y type things I usually have to do on the weekend done and now feel like I can fully relax this weekend. To make it better, most people decided to take today off work and have a four day weekend. As nice as that would have been, coming in to work for just half a day meant that I could get more done in four hours than I usually do all week. Why? Because no one was there to bother me. This means that come Monday, I'm better positioned to get through the week than I normally am. I can relax even more! Amazingly, I've also done all these things sans car since mine is still in the shop (I don't even want to go there).
I finally cashed in my birthday present and had the house cleaners come in yesterday. The house is so clean and smells so great. How wonderful! There's nothing like that "clean house" smell.
In other news, Roger has accepted a new position with a well established company that is starting an HVAC section here in Sacramento. The company is known for it's solar power and while they are getting the HVAC thing set up, have offered to have Roger start early and learn the solar part of the business. This means several things. One, he will temporarily have to give up on the business, since it could cause some conflict. This is sad in some ways because his business was taking off...but the unsteady income did make us uneasy. Things were working well for us and the extra time he got to spend with Kaelyn was awesome, but I think he missed the daily grind of a regular job and with the economy being the way it is, it was scary for us to invest in something new. Still, he did well for his first year and it seems that now that he's wrapping things up, people are calling left and right wanting service! It was hard to pass up the additional income though. It will be a great cushion for us and it makes us both feel so much better knowing that it's there. The not so great part is obviously he will have less time with Kaelyn and I know he'll miss that. We have great care for her and she's happy with our caregiver, so we are good there, but I know that Roger enjoyed the extra time with her, especially now that she's so little and so in love with her daddy!
For me, I think this move is all positive. The opportunity for him to start something from the ground floor is amazing...and to be backed by such a well respected, well established company is even better. Plus, learning about solar power can only be good. Even though we live fine off my income alone and have been able to fund all our fun stuff with Roger's business, it's nice to know that we'll have the second steady income guaranteed to us. We'll be able to save even more and have a fall back for times like when we don't have a renter and need to pay two mortgages (I did not enjoy that last month!) We were not expecting this development in his career and I won't go into how it came about, but suffice to say, we were not looking for this. The stars just aligned perfectly and we felt like we had to jump on it.
We'll be getting used to a new schedule over the next couple of months and I have a feeling that the adjustment might be hard for all of us. With both of us going into work early now (6:30 am), we'll have to work out how to get Kaelyn to our sitter. It's a long drive, which means earlier mornings for both of us. I just hope I have my car back soon so we can take turns. As it stands now, Roger drives me to and from work...which is just extra driving and time for him. Still, we are going into this holiday season with new hope for our future. We're excited...even if cautiously so. We'll be working hard, the days will be tiring, but the peace of mind will be nice. We'll make that much more of an effort to maximize the time we do have together on the weekends. I'll be looking into changing my schedule so that I can have a flex day every other Friday and Roger may be put on a 4-10 schedule that will give him three day weekends as well...so, we should be good there.
I'm ready for the weekend and plan to fully enjoy it. We'll be helping friends move tomorrow and may go shopping on Sunday. Nothing big. Just time together as a family. Always good.
To end: Thank you to all who have served past and present. Thank you to the families that sacrifice your loved ones. And to all those who I've known that have lost their lives fighting for our freedom (and to everyone that I don't know)...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I finally cashed in my birthday present and had the house cleaners come in yesterday. The house is so clean and smells so great. How wonderful! There's nothing like that "clean house" smell.
In other news, Roger has accepted a new position with a well established company that is starting an HVAC section here in Sacramento. The company is known for it's solar power and while they are getting the HVAC thing set up, have offered to have Roger start early and learn the solar part of the business. This means several things. One, he will temporarily have to give up on the business, since it could cause some conflict. This is sad in some ways because his business was taking off...but the unsteady income did make us uneasy. Things were working well for us and the extra time he got to spend with Kaelyn was awesome, but I think he missed the daily grind of a regular job and with the economy being the way it is, it was scary for us to invest in something new. Still, he did well for his first year and it seems that now that he's wrapping things up, people are calling left and right wanting service! It was hard to pass up the additional income though. It will be a great cushion for us and it makes us both feel so much better knowing that it's there. The not so great part is obviously he will have less time with Kaelyn and I know he'll miss that. We have great care for her and she's happy with our caregiver, so we are good there, but I know that Roger enjoyed the extra time with her, especially now that she's so little and so in love with her daddy!
For me, I think this move is all positive. The opportunity for him to start something from the ground floor is amazing...and to be backed by such a well respected, well established company is even better. Plus, learning about solar power can only be good. Even though we live fine off my income alone and have been able to fund all our fun stuff with Roger's business, it's nice to know that we'll have the second steady income guaranteed to us. We'll be able to save even more and have a fall back for times like when we don't have a renter and need to pay two mortgages (I did not enjoy that last month!) We were not expecting this development in his career and I won't go into how it came about, but suffice to say, we were not looking for this. The stars just aligned perfectly and we felt like we had to jump on it.
We'll be getting used to a new schedule over the next couple of months and I have a feeling that the adjustment might be hard for all of us. With both of us going into work early now (6:30 am), we'll have to work out how to get Kaelyn to our sitter. It's a long drive, which means earlier mornings for both of us. I just hope I have my car back soon so we can take turns. As it stands now, Roger drives me to and from work...which is just extra driving and time for him. Still, we are going into this holiday season with new hope for our future. We're excited...even if cautiously so. We'll be working hard, the days will be tiring, but the peace of mind will be nice. We'll make that much more of an effort to maximize the time we do have together on the weekends. I'll be looking into changing my schedule so that I can have a flex day every other Friday and Roger may be put on a 4-10 schedule that will give him three day weekends as well...so, we should be good there.
I'm ready for the weekend and plan to fully enjoy it. We'll be helping friends move tomorrow and may go shopping on Sunday. Nothing big. Just time together as a family. Always good.
To end: Thank you to all who have served past and present. Thank you to the families that sacrifice your loved ones. And to all those who I've known that have lost their lives fighting for our freedom (and to everyone that I don't know)...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
(Un)Awarness
It amazes me that, when my life gets crazy busy (at it often does), how completely unaware I can be of what is happening outside my own little world.
For example, just a few weeks ago, we had a huge fire at our local mall. The story was complete with the mall closing down just before the holidays, the extensive damage, and a crazed guy that may or may not have had a bomb that started the whole thing. This happened to occur the week after our vacation, and just before my now infamous trip to DC. I worked late that day, came home thinking about dinner and Kaelyn and worrying about everything I still had left to do before I left that weekend. Roger asked me what I heard about the fire and my answer was “absolutely nothing”. To make it worse, until yesterday, it never even occurred to me that if the trip to DC hadn’t come up, I would have been with my coworkers in a class in that very location…as it was happening…and that they all pretty much had witnessed the drama unfold. As a matter of fact, until yesterday, I had forgotten that it even happened, as I had quickly melted back into my own world soon after hearing about it.
During this same period of time, the San Francisco Giants got into the World Series. I sort of remember Roger telling me something about it, but I really didn’t clue in. The first game was during my plane ride back to Sacramento. I was annoyed that the pilot kept waking me up with updates on the score. The other day, they won the championship. That, at least, I was mentally conscious enough to catch wind of. What I didn’t realize, was the outcomes or the existence of the other four games.
One thing that I do try to keep track of, regardless of what is happening to me personally, is local and national elections. I don’t love talking about politics. I despise getting into debates or sharing/knowing what others’ political leanings are. The endless phone calls, the misleading propaganda, and downright false advertising sickens me. Still, this is our system and I fully support it. I do my research, learn the issues, and sometimes even talk to my husband about what I’m thinking and ask for his opinion. I vote. Yesterday’s elections were both the most annoying and most interesting I have ever witnessed and I was interested in so much more than just what was happening here in California. I don’t want to get into details, but my job, and particularly my project, is highly political…so the Nevada Senate races were crucial to how we proceed (not if…that was a given…just how).
Now, happily, it’s over. I have my marching orders. My phone will stop ringing. The commercials will end. I can slip back into worldly oblivion and into my own comfortable little cocoon of a life.
For example, just a few weeks ago, we had a huge fire at our local mall. The story was complete with the mall closing down just before the holidays, the extensive damage, and a crazed guy that may or may not have had a bomb that started the whole thing. This happened to occur the week after our vacation, and just before my now infamous trip to DC. I worked late that day, came home thinking about dinner and Kaelyn and worrying about everything I still had left to do before I left that weekend. Roger asked me what I heard about the fire and my answer was “absolutely nothing”. To make it worse, until yesterday, it never even occurred to me that if the trip to DC hadn’t come up, I would have been with my coworkers in a class in that very location…as it was happening…and that they all pretty much had witnessed the drama unfold. As a matter of fact, until yesterday, I had forgotten that it even happened, as I had quickly melted back into my own world soon after hearing about it.
During this same period of time, the San Francisco Giants got into the World Series. I sort of remember Roger telling me something about it, but I really didn’t clue in. The first game was during my plane ride back to Sacramento. I was annoyed that the pilot kept waking me up with updates on the score. The other day, they won the championship. That, at least, I was mentally conscious enough to catch wind of. What I didn’t realize, was the outcomes or the existence of the other four games.
One thing that I do try to keep track of, regardless of what is happening to me personally, is local and national elections. I don’t love talking about politics. I despise getting into debates or sharing/knowing what others’ political leanings are. The endless phone calls, the misleading propaganda, and downright false advertising sickens me. Still, this is our system and I fully support it. I do my research, learn the issues, and sometimes even talk to my husband about what I’m thinking and ask for his opinion. I vote. Yesterday’s elections were both the most annoying and most interesting I have ever witnessed and I was interested in so much more than just what was happening here in California. I don’t want to get into details, but my job, and particularly my project, is highly political…so the Nevada Senate races were crucial to how we proceed (not if…that was a given…just how).
Now, happily, it’s over. I have my marching orders. My phone will stop ringing. The commercials will end. I can slip back into worldly oblivion and into my own comfortable little cocoon of a life.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Halloween
We spent most of the weekend waiting for the rain that was promised us…happily, it never showed up and the fall weather, though a little chilly on Saturday felt, refreshing and sweet.
By the time I left work on Friday, I was both physically and mentally exhausted. The trip to DC earlier in the week, coupled with the fact that my project schedule has been accelerated by a year pretty much had me beat (I’m better now). Roger picked me up from work a little after 4 (my car is in the shop with a bad clutch) and he, Kaelyn and I went to pick out our pumpkins for carving and get something for dinner since neither of us felt like cooking. We were late with the pumpkins this year, mainly because of all the traveling we did this month, but at least we got them and were able to carve them.
After dinner, the plan was to carve our pumpkins, but I just couldn’t muster up enough energy to do it. Instead, we settled on picking out our patterns (witch brewing in the moonlight for me, and really freaky skull for Roger) and cleaning the pumpkins out so they would be ready in the morning. After Kaelyn went to bed, we put in a scary movie, got out the tequila, and relaxed the rest of the night. I never even got a shot in…I was so tired, that I fell asleep during the movie and didn’t wake up until Saturday morning! Roger, bless him, slept on the couch, sitting up, next to me, because he didn’t want to wake me up to go to bed.
Saturday was relaxing as well. We were expecting it to rain so just sat around at home waiting for it to come. We did take a walk to the park next door and went to a deli to get some meats and cheeses for sandwiches that night, but that was pretty much it. We carved our pumpkins, roasted the seeds, and just hung out at home.
Halloween was as good as I hoped it would be. OMG! Kaelyn was so adorable in her strawberry shortcake costume. We were even able to get some pictures of her with her hat on…which was a feat in and of itself! She had no idea what was going on, but loved all the attention she got. Klara and Forrest came over and handed out candy with us. I made some apple turnovers just before trick or treating started and they were still hot when we came back. We enjoyed eating and sharing them with the parents that brought their kids around.
Around 9pm Halloween was over. The first major holiday of the fall season is behind us…now the rush begins. Thanksgiving is just around the corner!
By the time I left work on Friday, I was both physically and mentally exhausted. The trip to DC earlier in the week, coupled with the fact that my project schedule has been accelerated by a year pretty much had me beat (I’m better now). Roger picked me up from work a little after 4 (my car is in the shop with a bad clutch) and he, Kaelyn and I went to pick out our pumpkins for carving and get something for dinner since neither of us felt like cooking. We were late with the pumpkins this year, mainly because of all the traveling we did this month, but at least we got them and were able to carve them.
After dinner, the plan was to carve our pumpkins, but I just couldn’t muster up enough energy to do it. Instead, we settled on picking out our patterns (witch brewing in the moonlight for me, and really freaky skull for Roger) and cleaning the pumpkins out so they would be ready in the morning. After Kaelyn went to bed, we put in a scary movie, got out the tequila, and relaxed the rest of the night. I never even got a shot in…I was so tired, that I fell asleep during the movie and didn’t wake up until Saturday morning! Roger, bless him, slept on the couch, sitting up, next to me, because he didn’t want to wake me up to go to bed.
Saturday was relaxing as well. We were expecting it to rain so just sat around at home waiting for it to come. We did take a walk to the park next door and went to a deli to get some meats and cheeses for sandwiches that night, but that was pretty much it. We carved our pumpkins, roasted the seeds, and just hung out at home.
Halloween was as good as I hoped it would be. OMG! Kaelyn was so adorable in her strawberry shortcake costume. We were even able to get some pictures of her with her hat on…which was a feat in and of itself! She had no idea what was going on, but loved all the attention she got. Klara and Forrest came over and handed out candy with us. I made some apple turnovers just before trick or treating started and they were still hot when we came back. We enjoyed eating and sharing them with the parents that brought their kids around.
Around 9pm Halloween was over. The first major holiday of the fall season is behind us…now the rush begins. Thanksgiving is just around the corner!
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