I already mentioned that Roger is sick. He got it from me and I got it somewhere at work. Now Kaelyn is starting to sound a little raspy.
I don't get sick much. I've managed to not be sick for almost 2 years, but last weekend, it hit me...hard. I pretty much spent two days drugged up on mucinex and nyquil but by Monday morning (go figure) felt much, much better. It didn't surprise me when, Wednesday night, Roger told me he was coming down with the same thing...but, what did surprise me is how sick he actually got. By Friday night, he was flat on his back sick. I don't think I've ever seen him that bad. He assured me that 48 hours was all he needed to get through it.
We had plans to go to the Home and Landscape Show at Cal Expo yesterday. It's one of my favorite things to do and I was really looking forward to it. Friday night, I assumed that it wouldn't happen. So, imagine my surprise when Roger woke up yesterday and told me he still wanted to go. I argued that maybe he should rest, instead, but he insisted. Finally, when I reminded him that we could always try again today he relented...and spent the whole day in bed.
I busied myself with things that needed to get done around the house...mainly, laundry. I also decided, that since I still wasn't 100% and Roger was full out sick, that I would make some good old fashioned comfort food for dinner...chicken pot pie! That required a trip to the store for some fresh veggies. It also required that I carefully time my trip after lunch, between feedings, and when Kaelyn was napping.
The afternoon went fast. I decided to try out one of the Baby Einstein DVD's my brother sent Kaelyn for Christmas. I have to say, it really grabbed and kept her attention...so, now I'm a fan. After that, Roger and Kaelyn took another nap while I started dinner.
Roger managed to get up to eat, but was right back in bed the second he was done. He did say that his bed rest helped him out and he was starting to feel good. It still remains to be seen if we'll actually make it to the Home show today. I hope so, but at the same time, know that we need to stay healthy. Kaelyn is next (already is coughing)...it will be the first time she's ever been sick...and I'm not looking forward to it at all.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Ode to an Impulse Buy
I love Saturday mornings...it has always been my favorite time of the week. And even now, that I start them with a 4am feeding, it's still the time that I can just sit back, relax, and not DO anything. The only thing that makes the moment (husband feeding daughter) more perfect is my big cup of Kona coffee.
Which leads me to impulse buys. I am the proud owner of a Jura Compressa coffeemaker (I say me instead of we, because I bought it before we married and I'm that attached to it). At the touch of a button it produces cup after cup of perfectly pressure brewed coffee, with that wonderful layer of crema on top. I can go to it at any time of the day and get whatever I want... coffee, cafe Americana, latte, cappuccino, espresso...faster and cheaper than Starbucks ever could. It cleans itself, heats up in seconds, and speaks five languages! I love this thing!
It was expensive. Around $2000 expensive. I bought it before the marriage and baby. Back in the days when I could drop $2K on a coffee maker and not think twice (ok, I probably thought twice). In the days, where I could take a quick flight up to Oregon to visits friends and buy something like that tax free.
Roger also loves coffee and he loves my coffee maker (maybe more than I do). He once told me how happy he was that I own it...and then added that he was even happier that I bought it before we got married, because he would have a hard time paying that much for a coffee maker. Truthfully, I would never buy this coffee maker today. There is no way with all the other things we are doing...new business, new baby, that I would think it was a good investment to purchase a mini-coffee shop for for our home. But, boy do I ever love this coffee maker...
So, this impulse buy actually turned out to be perfect. I'm glad I didn't wait. I bought it at a time when I could afford to be a little extravagant...to buy a toy that is a luxury at best. I started dating Roger not long after that purchase and then we got married. Ten months later, here come Kaelyn. Life changes fast...very fast.
Because I didn't hem and haw and because I had the philosophy of "I can afford this now, I need to take advantage of my good fortune and go for it", I have something that my husband, my friends, and I all get extreme pleasure out of. To me, there is nothing better than a good cup of coffee and I can have one whenever I want. That's more than worth the $2000 I spent on it.
I'm just glad I bought it when I did!
Which leads me to impulse buys. I am the proud owner of a Jura Compressa coffeemaker (I say me instead of we, because I bought it before we married and I'm that attached to it). At the touch of a button it produces cup after cup of perfectly pressure brewed coffee, with that wonderful layer of crema on top. I can go to it at any time of the day and get whatever I want... coffee, cafe Americana, latte, cappuccino, espresso...faster and cheaper than Starbucks ever could. It cleans itself, heats up in seconds, and speaks five languages! I love this thing!
It was expensive. Around $2000 expensive. I bought it before the marriage and baby. Back in the days when I could drop $2K on a coffee maker and not think twice (ok, I probably thought twice). In the days, where I could take a quick flight up to Oregon to visits friends and buy something like that tax free.
Roger also loves coffee and he loves my coffee maker (maybe more than I do). He once told me how happy he was that I own it...and then added that he was even happier that I bought it before we got married, because he would have a hard time paying that much for a coffee maker. Truthfully, I would never buy this coffee maker today. There is no way with all the other things we are doing...new business, new baby, that I would think it was a good investment to purchase a mini-coffee shop for for our home. But, boy do I ever love this coffee maker...
So, this impulse buy actually turned out to be perfect. I'm glad I didn't wait. I bought it at a time when I could afford to be a little extravagant...to buy a toy that is a luxury at best. I started dating Roger not long after that purchase and then we got married. Ten months later, here come Kaelyn. Life changes fast...very fast.
Because I didn't hem and haw and because I had the philosophy of "I can afford this now, I need to take advantage of my good fortune and go for it", I have something that my husband, my friends, and I all get extreme pleasure out of. To me, there is nothing better than a good cup of coffee and I can have one whenever I want. That's more than worth the $2000 I spent on it.
I'm just glad I bought it when I did!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Who was that girl?
This morning was rough. I was supposed to be up and out the door, with Kaelyn in tow, at 5:45. That didn't happen. She was hungry, but wouldn't sit still long enough to eat. I was trying to get myself ready at the same time I was trying to get her ready...and Roger is sick, so he couldn't help me (though he tried). Finally, at 6:15 we are out the door and I'm racing to get her to the sitter and myself to work.
It wasn't that long ago that I could hang out with friends on a Thursday night, get home at 1am, and still get up at 5am for a workout. And if I did want to sleep in, I could roll out of bed, hop in the shower, and be out the door in less than 20 minutes. That life seems so foreign to me now. And while some people would say that recognize themselves now, I would say "I don't know who that girl I used to be is anymore".
I was never the girl who dreamed about getting married and having babies. While some my single girlfriends were lamenting about how everyone else was getting married and worried about their eggs rotting, I was always thinking "Will I ever be able to share my closet with someone?" and "If I marry someone who snores, would it be rude if I kick him out of bed so I can get sleep?" And while I didn't shudder at the thought of marriage and kids, I definetely wasn't longing for the days I'd be cleaning puke off my shirts.
I was, very happily, single. Active duty Air Force, traveling the world. I pretty much did whatever I wanted with my free time. Never worried about money or anything outside of myself. A big decision for me in those days was whether or not I could go to a wedding in Hawaii and spend a couple of weeks in Australia the same month (the answer was yes!). These days, even a trip to the grocery store is a game of 20 questions. Do I have to pick up Kaelyn? If I do, will she be hungry? Can I go the store and get what I need before she gets tired and cranky? Should I drop her off at home first? Do we have enough diapers, baby wipes, formula, etc.? What kind of french fries does Roger like again? Do we need milk? Can this wait until the weekend when we go to Costco? (The thought of buying anything in bulk used to make me gag.)
Did I really ever make the spur of the moment decision to spend Thanksgiving in Beijing? And was that really only five years ago?
Just a couple of years ago, if someone would have told me that a fun Friday night would be sitting on my couch, eating pizza, and watching a 4 month old try to roll over, I would have said "Ha! Boring." But, that is my plan tonight and I'll be looking forward to it all day.
Of course, just because I'm married and have a child, I don't plan to just roll over and become a recluse. I did marry a man who's nickname is Trouble, after all. We still plan to do our yearly rafting trip, skydiving, and I'm going to learn to scuba dive this year. We'll go to Catalina, Vegas, Disney Land, and even Greece (where we plan to have Kaelyn babtized). The difference is that now, I have to plan a little further ahead...probably can't pack the same day I leave for the trip, and definitely won't be staying up all night drinking anymore.
I don't really remember life before Roger and Kaelyn. I can't imagine life without them...and the girl I used to be? She seems more like a fantasy, a movie I saw, or a book I read, than the life I used to lead. I have those memories, and experiences. I made the most of those times and now, I'm excited to start a new phase of school plays and refrigerator art (something that also use to make me gag). We'll have plenty of fun and travel along the way, too...afterall, that girl I used to be, is still there...
It wasn't that long ago that I could hang out with friends on a Thursday night, get home at 1am, and still get up at 5am for a workout. And if I did want to sleep in, I could roll out of bed, hop in the shower, and be out the door in less than 20 minutes. That life seems so foreign to me now. And while some people would say that recognize themselves now, I would say "I don't know who that girl I used to be is anymore".
I was never the girl who dreamed about getting married and having babies. While some my single girlfriends were lamenting about how everyone else was getting married and worried about their eggs rotting, I was always thinking "Will I ever be able to share my closet with someone?" and "If I marry someone who snores, would it be rude if I kick him out of bed so I can get sleep?" And while I didn't shudder at the thought of marriage and kids, I definetely wasn't longing for the days I'd be cleaning puke off my shirts.
I was, very happily, single. Active duty Air Force, traveling the world. I pretty much did whatever I wanted with my free time. Never worried about money or anything outside of myself. A big decision for me in those days was whether or not I could go to a wedding in Hawaii and spend a couple of weeks in Australia the same month (the answer was yes!). These days, even a trip to the grocery store is a game of 20 questions. Do I have to pick up Kaelyn? If I do, will she be hungry? Can I go the store and get what I need before she gets tired and cranky? Should I drop her off at home first? Do we have enough diapers, baby wipes, formula, etc.? What kind of french fries does Roger like again? Do we need milk? Can this wait until the weekend when we go to Costco? (The thought of buying anything in bulk used to make me gag.)
Did I really ever make the spur of the moment decision to spend Thanksgiving in Beijing? And was that really only five years ago?
Just a couple of years ago, if someone would have told me that a fun Friday night would be sitting on my couch, eating pizza, and watching a 4 month old try to roll over, I would have said "Ha! Boring." But, that is my plan tonight and I'll be looking forward to it all day.
Of course, just because I'm married and have a child, I don't plan to just roll over and become a recluse. I did marry a man who's nickname is Trouble, after all. We still plan to do our yearly rafting trip, skydiving, and I'm going to learn to scuba dive this year. We'll go to Catalina, Vegas, Disney Land, and even Greece (where we plan to have Kaelyn babtized). The difference is that now, I have to plan a little further ahead...probably can't pack the same day I leave for the trip, and definitely won't be staying up all night drinking anymore.
I don't really remember life before Roger and Kaelyn. I can't imagine life without them...and the girl I used to be? She seems more like a fantasy, a movie I saw, or a book I read, than the life I used to lead. I have those memories, and experiences. I made the most of those times and now, I'm excited to start a new phase of school plays and refrigerator art (something that also use to make me gag). We'll have plenty of fun and travel along the way, too...afterall, that girl I used to be, is still there...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Worry worry worry
My daughter was born 5 weeks and 2 days early. She was born healthy...thank God!...at 5 lbs and 19 inches. But, she was early, and small, so we had her in the NICU for 10 days.
I did not take this well. The doctor was afraid that she had apnea, but for some reason, wasn't positive. So, he held her for observation. And this frustrated me. Of course, I worried about the apnea, but I also worried about her being in the hospital. I selfishly wanted to bring her home, but I also had a fear that the longer she stayed in the sterile, bright white NICU, the less stimulation she would get and the worse off she would be.
I remember sitting in the hospital cafeteria with Roger when she was just under a week old. We had just been told that she would be there, at least, for a few more days. The news did not make me happy and I was emotionally and physically drained. Then it hit me. There would never again be a time when I'm not going to worry about her. For the first time, I understood, truly, what Diane Keaton meant when she told her daughters it was an "impossible love". It doesn't matter how happy, healthy, and vibrant Kaelyn is, I'm her mother and that means I'm going to worry about her. She is, undoubtedly, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me (besides Roger, of course)...but, she's also going to be the source of some the greatest pain I'll ever feel. The joy I felt at her birth followed immediately by the stress and worry of her health is a testament to that.
Happily, she is fine. She continues to thrive and delight us everyday. That doesn't mean I don't still worry about her though, but I'm slowly learning that I need to put my fears for her aside and enjoy the bundle of joy and energy that she is. She is a blessing, and these moments are going to pass quickly...so, as hard as it will be, I will try not to let my worry for her impede the happiness that she brings to me.
I did not take this well. The doctor was afraid that she had apnea, but for some reason, wasn't positive. So, he held her for observation. And this frustrated me. Of course, I worried about the apnea, but I also worried about her being in the hospital. I selfishly wanted to bring her home, but I also had a fear that the longer she stayed in the sterile, bright white NICU, the less stimulation she would get and the worse off she would be.
I remember sitting in the hospital cafeteria with Roger when she was just under a week old. We had just been told that she would be there, at least, for a few more days. The news did not make me happy and I was emotionally and physically drained. Then it hit me. There would never again be a time when I'm not going to worry about her. For the first time, I understood, truly, what Diane Keaton meant when she told her daughters it was an "impossible love". It doesn't matter how happy, healthy, and vibrant Kaelyn is, I'm her mother and that means I'm going to worry about her. She is, undoubtedly, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me (besides Roger, of course)...but, she's also going to be the source of some the greatest pain I'll ever feel. The joy I felt at her birth followed immediately by the stress and worry of her health is a testament to that.
Happily, she is fine. She continues to thrive and delight us everyday. That doesn't mean I don't still worry about her though, but I'm slowly learning that I need to put my fears for her aside and enjoy the bundle of joy and energy that she is. She is a blessing, and these moments are going to pass quickly...so, as hard as it will be, I will try not to let my worry for her impede the happiness that she brings to me.
I have a blog?
I decided to start a blog. This is new for me. My main reasons are because I have a lot on my mind...all the time...and it would be nice to have an outlet. Also, my life has been changing pretty drastically over the last couple years and I'm continuing to make big changes. First, I'll be starting a new job in two weeks, my husband, Roger, is starting his own business, we just had a beautiful baby girl, Kaelyn, 4 months ago, and we've only been married for just over 14 months. And while I'm embracing all this change, I also need to lose my pregnancy weight. I haven't been diligent in my efforts to lose and I guess I'm hoping to hold myself accountable here.
I've titled this blog BS in the World. Anyone who knows me will probably think the title is just a summary of my basice attitude and outlook on life...and while this is true, I chose the title because my initials just also happen to be BS.
Honestly, I'm not sure how good I'll be at this. I don't really have time to blog. I work full time and taking care of a new baby...something, by the way, I'm totally clueless about. I'm tired all the time and truth be told, the time I do spend on this blog would probably be better served in a workout. But, I'm going to give this a good effort and with that, I will go and start my first real post!
BS
I've titled this blog BS in the World. Anyone who knows me will probably think the title is just a summary of my basice attitude and outlook on life...and while this is true, I chose the title because my initials just also happen to be BS.
Honestly, I'm not sure how good I'll be at this. I don't really have time to blog. I work full time and taking care of a new baby...something, by the way, I'm totally clueless about. I'm tired all the time and truth be told, the time I do spend on this blog would probably be better served in a workout. But, I'm going to give this a good effort and with that, I will go and start my first real post!
BS
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