Somewhere between the building I work in and the parking garage I park in (about 2 blocks), I meet a (presumably) homeless man every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He sits on a planting box in front of a really cute apartment building. His shopping cart is always beside him. Every time I see him, his demeaner is the same. He greets everyone the same way..."Hello, beautiful"..."How are you lovely ladies doing?" etc. He compliments the looks of every woman that crosses his path. And the men? He asks them how they are and if they have spare change.
It occured to me yesterday as he greeted me that he has never asked me for money and I noticed that he didn't ask a single woman for a handout (at least not in the group that I was walking near at the time). For some reason, I was insulted. Is it discrimination? Pride? Why can he ask every man that crosses his path for money but not the women?
And why does this bother me? I'll never give him money even if asks me for it...only one of the reasons being that I rarely have cash on me. I have, in the past, offered to buy the coffee or the hamburger that I'm asked to provide my spare change for, but funny enough, no one has ever taken me up on the offer. It's disillutionment at best...I want to believe that people won't beg for money unless they really need it, that the "homeless" aren't going home at the end of the day and parking their shopping carts in their garages. I know that homelessness is a problem in many cities, including Sacramento...but, I've yet to meet to someone who actually seems grateful for what I do offer, which is the very thing they are usually asking me for...coffee and food. And now, to top it all off, I've met someone who is discriminatory about who he asks for a handout.
I know I'm being selfish and rediculous. I know that it's very likely that this guy is homeless, but just can't bring himself to ask women and children for money...maybe he doesn't even ask all the guys. And where he is on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Who knows...maybe a different corner. Here I sit, my husband sleeping on the couch beside me and my daughter sound asleep in her crib and I'm complaining because someone who does need to beg on the street isn't begging me for something I'm unwilling to give? This really is laughable. My biggest concern right now is that I'm staying up past my bedtime and might be tired as I get up to go to my very comfortable, financially stable and secure job. Yep, I have big problems and every right to complain....
On to the homefront. Kaelyn rolled over for the first time today! She's been "practicing" for weeks now...well over a month. She rolls from side to side and twists her little body in the hopes of flipping from her back to her stomach. The last few days she's managed to roll over on top of her arm (it being in the way has been her biggest obstacle)...she rolls on top of it, kicks and rolls right back over on her back. But tonight...I look away for one second and turn around and find her on her stomach and then, to my delight, got to witness her make the move by herself over and over again with little effort...the solution for her? Simply lift her head and get her body over her trapped arm. She was obviously as proud of herself for figuring this out and Roger and I were. Of course, flipping over means she's on her tummy...a position she doesn't enjoy being in for any length of time and now, she's trying to master rolling back over the other way...something I think she will probably master in the next few days (since it's a much easier move and it's a goal born clearly of her frustration). I love watching her grow and learn new things...seing the delight of the simplest things as she experiences them for the first time. What pure joy!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Step Back in Time
My first week at the Army Corps of Engineers is done and I feel like I stepped back in time 5 or 6 years. It's amazing how removed I had gotten from the military life, but within two hours of being at the Corps, I spun right back into the land of acronyms, forms, and more acronyms. And meetings!
There are obvious differences though...I'm no longer in uniform, I don't deploy, and the acronyms are different...but overall, the atmosphere is very much like being a civil engineer in the Air Force. After briefing the Colonel yesterday, I was actually surprised when I caught my image in the mirror and I wasn't the skinny girl in fatigues.
I'm going to like this new job. I've always enjoyed project management, I get more perks (like a gym membership), and more time with my family. I worked overtime the other day and getting home late still had me in my husbands arms by 4:30...that's amazing!
I won't be talking much about work here...that's not the purpose of this blog, so now that I've made the transition, I won't mention it much.
On to different stuff. Our plans for the weekend were to work on the backyard...Roger has done a lot of work out there and it's looking good. I thought we could finish the deck on the side of the house this weekend and move on to building the fireplace and seating next weekend. But, the forcast is rain...we're hoping not too heavy, but it does look like our little project will be delayed because of it.
We made plans to go to the drive in tonight. Roger and I both love it there, but this will be the first time, since Kaelyn, that we've gone. We are going to take her. I think that I should be able to feed her and put her to sleep as soon as we get there and have her sleep through the whole thing...keeping my fingers crossed!
There are obvious differences though...I'm no longer in uniform, I don't deploy, and the acronyms are different...but overall, the atmosphere is very much like being a civil engineer in the Air Force. After briefing the Colonel yesterday, I was actually surprised when I caught my image in the mirror and I wasn't the skinny girl in fatigues.
I'm going to like this new job. I've always enjoyed project management, I get more perks (like a gym membership), and more time with my family. I worked overtime the other day and getting home late still had me in my husbands arms by 4:30...that's amazing!
I won't be talking much about work here...that's not the purpose of this blog, so now that I've made the transition, I won't mention it much.
On to different stuff. Our plans for the weekend were to work on the backyard...Roger has done a lot of work out there and it's looking good. I thought we could finish the deck on the side of the house this weekend and move on to building the fireplace and seating next weekend. But, the forcast is rain...we're hoping not too heavy, but it does look like our little project will be delayed because of it.
We made plans to go to the drive in tonight. Roger and I both love it there, but this will be the first time, since Kaelyn, that we've gone. We are going to take her. I think that I should be able to feed her and put her to sleep as soon as we get there and have her sleep through the whole thing...keeping my fingers crossed!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bella Piazza
As predicted, Roger and I spent the day yesterday working on the backyard (mostly him) and doing taxes (all me), then relaxed with a nice dinner and some of our favorite, La Pinta Pomegranate Tequila!
To make up for our "non-Valentine's Day", we decided to head out to our favorite local winery, Bella Piazza, today for a family picnic. We made sandwiches and packed up some fruit and macaroni salad, and everything that Kaelyn needs, then headed out for the roughly hour long drive to Plymouth.
The weather was perfect...70 degrees and sunny! We stopped at Bella Piazza first and picked up some chilled white wine for our picnic then headed to their sister winery, Villa Toscano, to eat. Unfortunately, they were doing the pasta buffet there, and it was way too crowded, so instead, we turned around and went right back to Bella Piazza, where we ate by their water fountains.
Lunch was delicious and I have to say that I love the easy going attitude of my husband. Spending the day relaxing with him and enjoying the good weather was exactly what I needed and the perfect end to a long weekend.
Earlier this morning, I had the brilliant idea of taking some pictures of Kaelyn in wine-country. I put a really cute dress on her and was really looking forward to getting some more good pictures...but, of course, she decided that she would sleep the whole trip! And woke up about 10 minutes before we made it home! Oh well...she's cute sleeping too :) And it was nice having her quiet, so that Roger and I could concentrate on talking to each other instead of on her (I feel like a bad mom for saying that).
Now, we're home and Roger is back outside working. We decided to go out to dinner tonight too so I have even more time to relax.
Overall, we had a great weekend and I feel totally rejuvinated and ready to conquer the week ahead.
Tomorrow is my first day at the Army Corps of Engineers...I'm not that nervous, but I am a little anxious.
I'll write about my first day later.
To make up for our "non-Valentine's Day", we decided to head out to our favorite local winery, Bella Piazza, today for a family picnic. We made sandwiches and packed up some fruit and macaroni salad, and everything that Kaelyn needs, then headed out for the roughly hour long drive to Plymouth.
The weather was perfect...70 degrees and sunny! We stopped at Bella Piazza first and picked up some chilled white wine for our picnic then headed to their sister winery, Villa Toscano, to eat. Unfortunately, they were doing the pasta buffet there, and it was way too crowded, so instead, we turned around and went right back to Bella Piazza, where we ate by their water fountains.
Lunch was delicious and I have to say that I love the easy going attitude of my husband. Spending the day relaxing with him and enjoying the good weather was exactly what I needed and the perfect end to a long weekend.
Earlier this morning, I had the brilliant idea of taking some pictures of Kaelyn in wine-country. I put a really cute dress on her and was really looking forward to getting some more good pictures...but, of course, she decided that she would sleep the whole trip! And woke up about 10 minutes before we made it home! Oh well...she's cute sleeping too :) And it was nice having her quiet, so that Roger and I could concentrate on talking to each other instead of on her (I feel like a bad mom for saying that).
Now, we're home and Roger is back outside working. We decided to go out to dinner tonight too so I have even more time to relax.
Overall, we had a great weekend and I feel totally rejuvinated and ready to conquer the week ahead.
Tomorrow is my first day at the Army Corps of Engineers...I'm not that nervous, but I am a little anxious.
I'll write about my first day later.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Girls' Night Out
I grew up in a family where everyone my generation, besides me, is male. I am also in a male domintated career field, both in and out of of the Air Force. For that reason, I've always been comfortable around guys and have never considered myself the "typical girl" (whatever that means).
But because I'm so used to being the only girl, I've always appreciated really good girl friends. And I've been blessed in my life to have some amazing women friends. Strong, smart, funny and beautiful women who have taught me a lot about who I am as a woman in this world...something I don't really get from my male friendships.
I used to take for granted the time I spent with girlfriends. It was once a weekly occurance for me to go out dancing with them...we'd go to dinner, hang out at each others' houses, watch movies, and sometimes shop. There's an ease with my girlfriends that I don't get from guys. I can call them any time of the day or night and tell them a problem...they sympathize with me instead of doing the typical guy thing, which is try to fix it. And I've been able to find them wherever I live...and keep those relations up over time and great distances.
When Roger and I first became serious, I found it tough to balance my time between him and my girlfriends. Roger has always been willing to give me the time that I need and he even hangs out with us quite often, but it's a balance I haven't really gotten down. And since Kaelyn's arrival, time alone with girlfriends has pretty much disappeared.
My friends have supported me through some major changes in my life recently and as my friend, Stacy, pointed out to me on the phone yesterday...my life has changed in dramatic ways, but my friends' lives haven't. That got me thinking on how amazing it then is, that they still want to hang out with me...that they accept Roger and plan things that I can also bring Kaelyn to.
Last night, we decided to celebrate our friend, Klara's, birthday (even if a little late). We decided on dinner followed possibly by a night of dancing. And we decided to make it a girls' night. Roger and Kaelyn stayed home and I went out, for the first time since she was born, by myself. I expected to be full of anxiety. Even though I already leave Kaelyn during the day when I go to work, I've only socialized without her once...and that was on our anniversay.
But instead of anxious, I felt happy. Not to be without my husband and daughter, because I was more than thrilled to go back home to them, but because I felt like "the old Beth". We were right back where we were...talking, laughing, offering advice. It was as if the clock turned back three years. I was alreay grateful that my friendships were able to evolve with the changes in my life, but last night, I realized that it was even greater, that the evolution isn't permanent...we can go right back to being the way we've always been.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's dedicated to my family, but as promised, I will think of my friends and thank God for giving me such wonderful people to go through life with.
Vickie and Klara, I had a great time last night and hope that you did too...thank you for being the friends you are!
But because I'm so used to being the only girl, I've always appreciated really good girl friends. And I've been blessed in my life to have some amazing women friends. Strong, smart, funny and beautiful women who have taught me a lot about who I am as a woman in this world...something I don't really get from my male friendships.
I used to take for granted the time I spent with girlfriends. It was once a weekly occurance for me to go out dancing with them...we'd go to dinner, hang out at each others' houses, watch movies, and sometimes shop. There's an ease with my girlfriends that I don't get from guys. I can call them any time of the day or night and tell them a problem...they sympathize with me instead of doing the typical guy thing, which is try to fix it. And I've been able to find them wherever I live...and keep those relations up over time and great distances.
When Roger and I first became serious, I found it tough to balance my time between him and my girlfriends. Roger has always been willing to give me the time that I need and he even hangs out with us quite often, but it's a balance I haven't really gotten down. And since Kaelyn's arrival, time alone with girlfriends has pretty much disappeared.
My friends have supported me through some major changes in my life recently and as my friend, Stacy, pointed out to me on the phone yesterday...my life has changed in dramatic ways, but my friends' lives haven't. That got me thinking on how amazing it then is, that they still want to hang out with me...that they accept Roger and plan things that I can also bring Kaelyn to.
Last night, we decided to celebrate our friend, Klara's, birthday (even if a little late). We decided on dinner followed possibly by a night of dancing. And we decided to make it a girls' night. Roger and Kaelyn stayed home and I went out, for the first time since she was born, by myself. I expected to be full of anxiety. Even though I already leave Kaelyn during the day when I go to work, I've only socialized without her once...and that was on our anniversay.
But instead of anxious, I felt happy. Not to be without my husband and daughter, because I was more than thrilled to go back home to them, but because I felt like "the old Beth". We were right back where we were...talking, laughing, offering advice. It was as if the clock turned back three years. I was alreay grateful that my friendships were able to evolve with the changes in my life, but last night, I realized that it was even greater, that the evolution isn't permanent...we can go right back to being the way we've always been.
Today is Valentine's Day and it's dedicated to my family, but as promised, I will think of my friends and thank God for giving me such wonderful people to go through life with.
Vickie and Klara, I had a great time last night and hope that you did too...thank you for being the friends you are!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My Thoughts on Valentine's Day
I used to have a rule that I lived by for years:
I would not begin a relationship between my birthday (Sept 28) and Valentine's Day. This was mainly because I didn't like the stress of being in a new relationship and wondering "What, if anything, do I do for Christmas or Valentine's Day?"
I've only had three serious relationships in my life...the third, being my husband, Roger. But even for the previous two, I never really knew what to do about Valentine's Day. My high-school boyfriend and I were too poor to ever do anything special. And the other guy? I gotflowers at work one year and we broke up less than a month later (I think I might have sent him a "Happy V-day text...but ignored it otherwise. That was not why we broke up.)
I've never really liked the so-called "holiday". It puts way too much pressure on everyone...single, dating, or married. I mean, we just got done with Christmas and now, before we've even had time to fully recover, we have to think about what we're doing for Valentine's Day? Or be reminded that we're not in a romantic relationship? And for me and Roger, this "holiday" comes not only on the heals of Christmas, but Roger's birthday (Dec 3) and our Anniversay (Nov 22).
Part of the problem is that I've always thought that Valentine's Day was supposed to be a celebration of all love...romantic, family, and friendship. And it always annoyed me that the focus was so much on the romatic side of love, ignoring all others. But, I looked it up today, and it really is historically just supposed to be about romantic love...which is BS if you ask me.
I guess another problem is that even when I have wanted to acknowledge the day, I've had bad luck with it. For example, last year, was my and Roger's first Valentine's Day as a married couple...we spent it cleaning up a flood from a leaking boiler in an assisted living facility.
This year, barring any emergencies that call him away, we'll just keep working on our backyard (we are installing an outdoor kitchen) and maybe go out to dinner...although, more than likely, I'll cook us a big meal we can just eat while hanging out at home and watching movies...which we do most Sunday nights anyway.
As for the cards, flowers, chocolates, and jewelry...we won't do any of that. The important part is that I spend the day with Roger and Kaelyn and not put any expectations on how the day is going to go.
I'll also ignore the part where the day is just about romantic love...I'll take the time to think about ALL the people I love...Kaelyn, our extended family, and our friends. I doubt I'll get around to calling everyone and wishing them a happy day, but on Sunday, they will be just as much in my thoughts as Roger is. And to take it a step further, I will make an honest effort to acknowledge someone I love every day of the year, starting now.
I think Valentine's Day is pretty stupid...but, I like the concept of celebrating all the special people in our lives. I'm not always good at expressing that, but I do feel grateful for the friends and family I have...so to all of you...Happy Valentine's Day!
I would not begin a relationship between my birthday (Sept 28) and Valentine's Day. This was mainly because I didn't like the stress of being in a new relationship and wondering "What, if anything, do I do for Christmas or Valentine's Day?"
I've only had three serious relationships in my life...the third, being my husband, Roger. But even for the previous two, I never really knew what to do about Valentine's Day. My high-school boyfriend and I were too poor to ever do anything special. And the other guy? I gotflowers at work one year and we broke up less than a month later (I think I might have sent him a "Happy V-day text...but ignored it otherwise. That was not why we broke up.)
I've never really liked the so-called "holiday". It puts way too much pressure on everyone...single, dating, or married. I mean, we just got done with Christmas and now, before we've even had time to fully recover, we have to think about what we're doing for Valentine's Day? Or be reminded that we're not in a romantic relationship? And for me and Roger, this "holiday" comes not only on the heals of Christmas, but Roger's birthday (Dec 3) and our Anniversay (Nov 22).
Part of the problem is that I've always thought that Valentine's Day was supposed to be a celebration of all love...romantic, family, and friendship. And it always annoyed me that the focus was so much on the romatic side of love, ignoring all others. But, I looked it up today, and it really is historically just supposed to be about romantic love...which is BS if you ask me.
I guess another problem is that even when I have wanted to acknowledge the day, I've had bad luck with it. For example, last year, was my and Roger's first Valentine's Day as a married couple...we spent it cleaning up a flood from a leaking boiler in an assisted living facility.
This year, barring any emergencies that call him away, we'll just keep working on our backyard (we are installing an outdoor kitchen) and maybe go out to dinner...although, more than likely, I'll cook us a big meal we can just eat while hanging out at home and watching movies...which we do most Sunday nights anyway.
As for the cards, flowers, chocolates, and jewelry...we won't do any of that. The important part is that I spend the day with Roger and Kaelyn and not put any expectations on how the day is going to go.
I'll also ignore the part where the day is just about romantic love...I'll take the time to think about ALL the people I love...Kaelyn, our extended family, and our friends. I doubt I'll get around to calling everyone and wishing them a happy day, but on Sunday, they will be just as much in my thoughts as Roger is. And to take it a step further, I will make an honest effort to acknowledge someone I love every day of the year, starting now.
I think Valentine's Day is pretty stupid...but, I like the concept of celebrating all the special people in our lives. I'm not always good at expressing that, but I do feel grateful for the friends and family I have...so to all of you...Happy Valentine's Day!
Last Day of Work
Tomorrow is my last day of work here at MCM. I start with the Army Corps of Engineers on Tuesday.
Someone asked me the other day if I was excited. But I don't think that excitement is the right emotion. I'm not sure how I feel exactly. This company has been great to me and while I've worked hard and have stressed out, I've learned a tremendous amount and had a lot of fun in the last two years. I've met wonderful people and some that I will call friends for life. I will always be fond of my time here.
It was never my intention to leave. I always expected that I would spend the rest of my career here. So, it did come as a surprise when I got the opportunity to interview with the Corps and decided to go and "see what happens". I interviewed just a few days after Kaelyn was born and they contacted me with an offer just one week after I returned to work. Even then, I never thought I would take it.
But after much discussion with Roger, thinking, and praying, we decided that it was absolutely the best move I could make at this point. This job allows me to continue doing the work I love, comes with a pay increase, and the flexibility to spend more time with my family...which is the most important thing to me right now. Not to mention the stability we get in an unstable economy. For all that, I am very happy and grateful for my good fortune!
But even still, leaving MCM is hard. It's like breaking up with someone you still love...knowing it's for the best, but sad that the best thing means ending something so good.
So, while I'm sad to leave MCM and the decision did not come lightly, I am at peace with my choice. I know I'm doing the right thing...so maybe that does come with a little bit of excitement.
Someone asked me the other day if I was excited. But I don't think that excitement is the right emotion. I'm not sure how I feel exactly. This company has been great to me and while I've worked hard and have stressed out, I've learned a tremendous amount and had a lot of fun in the last two years. I've met wonderful people and some that I will call friends for life. I will always be fond of my time here.
It was never my intention to leave. I always expected that I would spend the rest of my career here. So, it did come as a surprise when I got the opportunity to interview with the Corps and decided to go and "see what happens". I interviewed just a few days after Kaelyn was born and they contacted me with an offer just one week after I returned to work. Even then, I never thought I would take it.
But after much discussion with Roger, thinking, and praying, we decided that it was absolutely the best move I could make at this point. This job allows me to continue doing the work I love, comes with a pay increase, and the flexibility to spend more time with my family...which is the most important thing to me right now. Not to mention the stability we get in an unstable economy. For all that, I am very happy and grateful for my good fortune!
But even still, leaving MCM is hard. It's like breaking up with someone you still love...knowing it's for the best, but sad that the best thing means ending something so good.
So, while I'm sad to leave MCM and the decision did not come lightly, I am at peace with my choice. I know I'm doing the right thing...so maybe that does come with a little bit of excitement.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Super Bowl Sunday
I'm not a big football fan...I'm barely aware of the Superbowl (although, I love the commercials). But, every year, just like millions of other Americans, I gather some place to watch the "big game"...or mainly, just eat the food and catch up with friends.
This year, that gathering place was our house. And while Roger and I don't have a small house, it's not huge either. I was a little surprised (and doubtful) when he told me that he thought we could comfortably have about 50 people over. But (never tell him I said this), he was right. We had three tv's going. One in the garage for those that wanted to smoke cigars and play poker during the game, one upstairs in our family room for those of us who weren't really watching and another one (brought out from our bedroom) in our living room for those that were actually interested in the game. In the end, we had about 30 people, but I can see how we could have easily put another 20 or 30 more in. I'm proud of both my husband and our house for being able to host so many.
Sunday morning, as we were preparing food and getting ready, the pre-game stuff was on tv. That's when I asked Roger, "Who's playing in the Superbowl?"..and lo and behold I find out that Drew Brees, a guy I knew in college, was the starting quaterback (and now MVP) in the Superbowl...that's a big deal for him and for any Purdue alma mater...but somehow that fact escaped me until the day of the game.
And just to further illustrate how "out of it" I am when it comes to the Superbowl...we apparently had a pool going. I don't understand too much about it...we had a grid and anyone could buy a square for $1...numbers were drawn and depending on the score each quarter, you could win $20/quarter. I guess I was pretty close to being the half time (maybe it was third quarter) winner, but a score at the last minute made someone else win.
Roger came running upstairs telling me that I was robbed and that $20 was taken out of my pocket. Confused, I just said "Don't be ridiculous...I never carry cash"...everyone laughed and I then had to explain some things:
1. I didn't know there was a pool going.
2. I didn't know I was in the pool (Roger must have bought be in).
3. I don't know what my numbers are.
4. I don't know the score.
5. I don't really care about the $20 one way or another.
The day was really great though. We got to hang out with good friends and even meet some new people. Our friend, Michelle, came over early and took some beautiful pictures of Kaelyn for us...I can't wait to get copies of them! In the end, I wasn't even as tired as I thought I would be. We had a relaxing and fun day and I'm definitely going to be willing to have 50 people over again in the future!
BS
This year, that gathering place was our house. And while Roger and I don't have a small house, it's not huge either. I was a little surprised (and doubtful) when he told me that he thought we could comfortably have about 50 people over. But (never tell him I said this), he was right. We had three tv's going. One in the garage for those that wanted to smoke cigars and play poker during the game, one upstairs in our family room for those of us who weren't really watching and another one (brought out from our bedroom) in our living room for those that were actually interested in the game. In the end, we had about 30 people, but I can see how we could have easily put another 20 or 30 more in. I'm proud of both my husband and our house for being able to host so many.
Sunday morning, as we were preparing food and getting ready, the pre-game stuff was on tv. That's when I asked Roger, "Who's playing in the Superbowl?"..and lo and behold I find out that Drew Brees, a guy I knew in college, was the starting quaterback (and now MVP) in the Superbowl...that's a big deal for him and for any Purdue alma mater...but somehow that fact escaped me until the day of the game.
And just to further illustrate how "out of it" I am when it comes to the Superbowl...we apparently had a pool going. I don't understand too much about it...we had a grid and anyone could buy a square for $1...numbers were drawn and depending on the score each quarter, you could win $20/quarter. I guess I was pretty close to being the half time (maybe it was third quarter) winner, but a score at the last minute made someone else win.
Roger came running upstairs telling me that I was robbed and that $20 was taken out of my pocket. Confused, I just said "Don't be ridiculous...I never carry cash"...everyone laughed and I then had to explain some things:
1. I didn't know there was a pool going.
2. I didn't know I was in the pool (Roger must have bought be in).
3. I don't know what my numbers are.
4. I don't know the score.
5. I don't really care about the $20 one way or another.
The day was really great though. We got to hang out with good friends and even meet some new people. Our friend, Michelle, came over early and took some beautiful pictures of Kaelyn for us...I can't wait to get copies of them! In the end, I wasn't even as tired as I thought I would be. We had a relaxing and fun day and I'm definitely going to be willing to have 50 people over again in the future!
BS
Sunday, February 7, 2010
First Emergency Room Visit
So, as I've been writing, Kaelyn has been sick. When we called the advice nurse and explained her symptoms (and ours), we were told to just let her ride it out. They gave some advice on when we should take her in (fever, earache, wheezing, etc.) After some discussion, Roger and I decided it would be best to make her an appointment anyway. I thought she might have a sore throat and wanted to get her something to make her more comfortable. Not only that, but Wednesday she started eating much less than normal and dehydration was an issue.
I made the appointment for Thursday morning. Her regular pediatrician was out that day, so I made the appointment with another doctor. Roger was able to rearrange his schedule to take her, so I just went to work. Her appointment was at 9:15 and when Roger called me at 10, I expected him to just tell me that the doctor said she was fine and maybe gave her a prescription. Instead, he was telling me that he was taking her to the hospital and that she would have to stay for a few days. He told me that the doctor was concerned about her breathing and worried that she may have some bigger lung problems than just conjestion.
The doctor had called ahead to the pediatrics ICU, but they hadn't gotten back to him on having a bed ready for us, so we went to the emergency room and I met them there. On the way, I called the doctor to hear from him exactly what the problem was...he totally panicked me. He told me that she was very sick and he felt like if we had waited even an extra day to bring her in, she could be seriously ill. In the emergency room, they checked her oxygen levels (94% and 100% after the breathing treatment). They tried to draw some blood...and it took 4 of us to hold her down. She was screaming from the pain and I cried. Next, it was chest xrays and then up to the ICU.
Kaelyn's oxygen level stayed at 100% all day Thursday. The xrays showed that she had bronchiolitis, which was caused by the virus she caught from me and Roger (let me just say my guilt level was really high). She started eating better and while not as much as she normally does, enough to keep her hydrated and off an IV. She never developed a fever and amazingly, was happy and smiling at everyone. We spent the night in the hospital that night...the longest night of my life. Kaelyn's oxygen levels remained high...lowest it ever went was 97%. It was clear that she was improving and by Friday seemed like a normal, healthy, happy baby...with a cough. We spoke to the doctor again on Friday afternoon who told me that Kaelyn was through the worst of it. Basically, she had the exact same thing as me and Roger, but with her tiny body and never having been sick before, they weren't sure how she would react...example, the baby we shared a room with had the same thing, but developed pneumonia overnight where Kaelyn was getting better. The PICU doctor explained her hospitalization in a much less scary way than the pediatrician did the day before. Where the pediatrician said that she might have lung disease and could be very sick, the PICU doctor explained that they want to hospitalize babies with the virus to make sure that they get better (as they are expected to) or if they develop something worse, to have them where they can get immediate care (like the baby who developed pneumonia). While Kaelyn was in danger of getting sicker, it was only because she has never had this virus for doctors and us to know how she reacts. (It's a totally different blog, but I have a very strong opinion of how doctors explain things to patients...the pediatrician had me believe that if we hadn't brought Kaelyn in, she could have died...which the PICU doctor assured me would not have happened..she either would have gotten better on her own or sicker and caused us to bring her in again...definitely not as scary).
Kaelyn was able to recover without antibiotics (which the doctor said probably wouldn't work on the virus anyway), no iv, no oxygen, etc. The doctor asked me if I thought the breathing treatment she got in the emergency room helped. And considering that once she got it, her oxygen levels never dropped below 97% and she got her appetite back, I said yes. They decided to release us Friday night (to my and Roger's great relief!). They sent us home with nebulizer, so that we can continue to give her vapor treatments to help with her conjestion. She's still coughing, but sounding much better and she's eating as much as she always does.
I didn't like being in the hospital (too many memories of the NICU after she was born) and knew that I could never leave and go home without Kaelyn. The thought of going home without her almost caused a panic attack. Luckily, Roger understood why I refused to leave and stayed with us so we could all be together.
It was a scary few days, but we've made it through the first sickness and hospital visit. She is healthy again and we are all at home together...life couldn't be better!
I made the appointment for Thursday morning. Her regular pediatrician was out that day, so I made the appointment with another doctor. Roger was able to rearrange his schedule to take her, so I just went to work. Her appointment was at 9:15 and when Roger called me at 10, I expected him to just tell me that the doctor said she was fine and maybe gave her a prescription. Instead, he was telling me that he was taking her to the hospital and that she would have to stay for a few days. He told me that the doctor was concerned about her breathing and worried that she may have some bigger lung problems than just conjestion.
The doctor had called ahead to the pediatrics ICU, but they hadn't gotten back to him on having a bed ready for us, so we went to the emergency room and I met them there. On the way, I called the doctor to hear from him exactly what the problem was...he totally panicked me. He told me that she was very sick and he felt like if we had waited even an extra day to bring her in, she could be seriously ill. In the emergency room, they checked her oxygen levels (94% and 100% after the breathing treatment). They tried to draw some blood...and it took 4 of us to hold her down. She was screaming from the pain and I cried. Next, it was chest xrays and then up to the ICU.
Kaelyn's oxygen level stayed at 100% all day Thursday. The xrays showed that she had bronchiolitis, which was caused by the virus she caught from me and Roger (let me just say my guilt level was really high). She started eating better and while not as much as she normally does, enough to keep her hydrated and off an IV. She never developed a fever and amazingly, was happy and smiling at everyone. We spent the night in the hospital that night...the longest night of my life. Kaelyn's oxygen levels remained high...lowest it ever went was 97%. It was clear that she was improving and by Friday seemed like a normal, healthy, happy baby...with a cough. We spoke to the doctor again on Friday afternoon who told me that Kaelyn was through the worst of it. Basically, she had the exact same thing as me and Roger, but with her tiny body and never having been sick before, they weren't sure how she would react...example, the baby we shared a room with had the same thing, but developed pneumonia overnight where Kaelyn was getting better. The PICU doctor explained her hospitalization in a much less scary way than the pediatrician did the day before. Where the pediatrician said that she might have lung disease and could be very sick, the PICU doctor explained that they want to hospitalize babies with the virus to make sure that they get better (as they are expected to) or if they develop something worse, to have them where they can get immediate care (like the baby who developed pneumonia). While Kaelyn was in danger of getting sicker, it was only because she has never had this virus for doctors and us to know how she reacts. (It's a totally different blog, but I have a very strong opinion of how doctors explain things to patients...the pediatrician had me believe that if we hadn't brought Kaelyn in, she could have died...which the PICU doctor assured me would not have happened..she either would have gotten better on her own or sicker and caused us to bring her in again...definitely not as scary).
Kaelyn was able to recover without antibiotics (which the doctor said probably wouldn't work on the virus anyway), no iv, no oxygen, etc. The doctor asked me if I thought the breathing treatment she got in the emergency room helped. And considering that once she got it, her oxygen levels never dropped below 97% and she got her appetite back, I said yes. They decided to release us Friday night (to my and Roger's great relief!). They sent us home with nebulizer, so that we can continue to give her vapor treatments to help with her conjestion. She's still coughing, but sounding much better and she's eating as much as she always does.
I didn't like being in the hospital (too many memories of the NICU after she was born) and knew that I could never leave and go home without Kaelyn. The thought of going home without her almost caused a panic attack. Luckily, Roger understood why I refused to leave and stayed with us so we could all be together.
It was a scary few days, but we've made it through the first sickness and hospital visit. She is healthy again and we are all at home together...life couldn't be better!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Oh Mamasan!
Anyone who knows me well, knows I like a clean house (who doesn't?). But, my obsession can be pretty bad. For instance, I can't eat dinner if the kitchen isn't clean. I can't relax if there's clutter around me (this does not apply to my car). When I was pregnant, everyone told me my standards would change. I actually feared the "toy corner" in my living room. And I realized I was being completely ridiculous.
My standards have not changed. I still like a clean house. I'm just not as bothered by Kaelyn's pink swing in our family room as I thought I would be. Or her rattle and teethers laying on our coffee table.
Keeping up with the housework is a different story though. I can do it. I do it. But my efficiency is gone. I used to be able to set aside a couple of hours every weekend and clean the entire house. Then it was done and life was good. Now, I can't really set aside that time. It can take me hours just to dust for all the interruptions (happy ones, I'm not complaining). But what used to be easy for me became something I felt like I was constantly doing. (As an aside, despite popular belief, I do not enjoy cleaning...I just don't like clutter and dirt.)
As a treat, Roger and I decided to hire someone to come into our house and do some deep spring cleaning. Mainly because I just couldn't stop complaining about our dirty baseboards or our dusty light fixutres. And also, because we didn't really want to sacrifice a fun weekend to deep clean the house. So, yesterday was the happy day our house was cleaned and I got to come home to it! It felt so great. Everything was really beautiful and even though I had to immediately take care of a sick baby, I was still way more relaxed than I've been in weeks.
All of this made me think of my mamasan....a sweet lady I hired to clean my house on a weekly basis while I was living in Japan. Sure, I could have done it myself, but for 2000 yen (roughly $20) a week, I didn't have to. Mamasan was wonderful. She couldn't have been taller than 4 feet or younger than 70. She couldn't see well and couldn't speak english. She would randomly call me throughout the week, but I have no idea what she was saying to me. She faithfully rode her bicycle to a different house each day of the week and worked her butt off. She even ironed my underwear...for $20. Amazing.
I don't know if Mamasan knows what she did for me. How relaxed and happy I was in my house because of her. I doubt she remembers me or even realizes how much I miss her. I don't even know her name and that makes me sad (especially since I just learned what the true origination of the word "mamasan" means). But, she did impact my life. Because of her, I spent the weekends enjoying Japan instead of cleaning my house. How blessed am I that I can have those experiences?
I wish I had been able to communicate better with Mamasan. To let her know that she meant something to me. I wish I knew who she was. Not just her name, but how many people was she supporting on the $20/day she got for cleaning houses? What has her life been like? Has she ever been outside of northern Japan? And what could I have done for her to thank her for being who she is?
I don't think it occured to me at the time what a huge blessing my life is. That I can say "I don't like doing this, so I'll just hire someone to do it for me" That's huge! Nothing lasts forever. I miss my mamasan...
My standards have not changed. I still like a clean house. I'm just not as bothered by Kaelyn's pink swing in our family room as I thought I would be. Or her rattle and teethers laying on our coffee table.
Keeping up with the housework is a different story though. I can do it. I do it. But my efficiency is gone. I used to be able to set aside a couple of hours every weekend and clean the entire house. Then it was done and life was good. Now, I can't really set aside that time. It can take me hours just to dust for all the interruptions (happy ones, I'm not complaining). But what used to be easy for me became something I felt like I was constantly doing. (As an aside, despite popular belief, I do not enjoy cleaning...I just don't like clutter and dirt.)
As a treat, Roger and I decided to hire someone to come into our house and do some deep spring cleaning. Mainly because I just couldn't stop complaining about our dirty baseboards or our dusty light fixutres. And also, because we didn't really want to sacrifice a fun weekend to deep clean the house. So, yesterday was the happy day our house was cleaned and I got to come home to it! It felt so great. Everything was really beautiful and even though I had to immediately take care of a sick baby, I was still way more relaxed than I've been in weeks.
All of this made me think of my mamasan....a sweet lady I hired to clean my house on a weekly basis while I was living in Japan. Sure, I could have done it myself, but for 2000 yen (roughly $20) a week, I didn't have to. Mamasan was wonderful. She couldn't have been taller than 4 feet or younger than 70. She couldn't see well and couldn't speak english. She would randomly call me throughout the week, but I have no idea what she was saying to me. She faithfully rode her bicycle to a different house each day of the week and worked her butt off. She even ironed my underwear...for $20. Amazing.
I don't know if Mamasan knows what she did for me. How relaxed and happy I was in my house because of her. I doubt she remembers me or even realizes how much I miss her. I don't even know her name and that makes me sad (especially since I just learned what the true origination of the word "mamasan" means). But, she did impact my life. Because of her, I spent the weekends enjoying Japan instead of cleaning my house. How blessed am I that I can have those experiences?
I wish I had been able to communicate better with Mamasan. To let her know that she meant something to me. I wish I knew who she was. Not just her name, but how many people was she supporting on the $20/day she got for cleaning houses? What has her life been like? Has she ever been outside of northern Japan? And what could I have done for her to thank her for being who she is?
I don't think it occured to me at the time what a huge blessing my life is. That I can say "I don't like doing this, so I'll just hire someone to do it for me" That's huge! Nothing lasts forever. I miss my mamasan...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I Choose Joy
Kaelyn is sick. She has the same mucus induced cough and sore throat that both Roger and I have just gotten over. Seeing her hurting, breaks my heart. But, the good news is that overall, she's fine. She's fussy when she's coughing, but otherwise, no fever and she still smiles all the time. We are taking her to the doctor tomorrow to see if there's anything we can give her to make her more comfortable, but otherwise, we know that this will just run it's course. Her symptoms are exactly the same as ours and we know (and were assured by the pediatrician) that this is a cold and she'll be back to her normal self in just a few days.
Today, I'm not going to write about Kaelyn's cold, but about something else that is weighing on my heart. On may way to drop Kaelyn off at Diana's yesterday morning, the radio station (new morning show) read off daily horoscopes. Mine (Libra) was "Be kind to those less fortunate than you. You have it pretty good"....so, so true. For reasons I can't really explain though, at that exact moment, I thought of the Sullivans. I have never met them (although we share the same extended Air Force family) and honestly, couldn't even remember their names at that moment they crossed my mind.
Who are they? Well, Kaelyn was born about 5 weeks early on September 21 in the evening. I had developed a fever during labor and was not allowed in the NICU that night to see her. The next day, Sept 22, when my fever broke, I pretty much stayed at her bedside. But, becaues I had her early, I had not tied up loose ends at work (I was expecting to still be there for at least a few more weeks). Roger brought my computer to the hospital and that afternoon I went back up to my room to check and send some emails and return phone calls from the day before. It took longer than I expected and I was antsy to go back down and see Kaelyn. But, before I did, I decided to check Facebook and possibly add a status update on her birth.
The first thing I saw, however, was a prayer request from friends of mine stationed in Misawa, Japan (which also happens to be a former duty station of mine). Sara Sullivan had died that day, just two weeks after giving birth to her daughter. There was a link to their family blog and what I read there broke my heart. She underwent chemotherapy while pregnant and overcame so many hurdles only to lose her life to an unrelated complication (it appears of giving birth). It was too much, emotionally, to read at that time and unfortunately, after I put the computer away, I never went back to their blog for an update.
So, thinking of them suddenly yesterday came as a small surprise to me. I made a mental note to goole their blog when I got home that afternoon, but because Kaelyn isn't feeling well, forgot all about it. Well, something was going on yesterday because once we got Kaelyn comfortably to sleep, I got on the computer with the intent of writing something interesting about Groundhog Day. Instead, I got sidetracked reading another friend's blog and accidently stumbled upon another link to the Sullivan's.
I read through their blog last night. Not all of it, but some recent updates, I went back to September and all the way back to the beginning, when they first found out about both the pregnancy and the cancer. I read some in between where I found that the pregnancy (for obvious reasons) wasn't easy. But through it all, one thing about them sticks out. They are truly joyful! They never, regardless of the challenges laid before them, ever said anything negative. They have hope and faith in God. They are comforted by His Love. Their attitude it truly, truly one of pure joy. And it's amazing!
Roger and I have a lot of conversations about our hopes and dreams for Kaelyn. It's fun for us to talk about all the wonderful things she can do and dream about what any of those things may be. But the one thing that we know, without a doubt, that we want for her, is happiness. Reading the Sullivan's blog, I learned that happiness and joy is a choice. We have God's love and that is more than enough to make us happy. Any other challenge or heartache is just another opportunity to rejoice in the good that God has provided. If I can teach Kaelyn that, then I have done my job as her mother.
I know it can't be easy to go through what the Sullivan's have. I may never meet them here on this earth. I cannot begin to pay tribute to Sara or do her any justice in my attempt. But I know that they have reached me and if I could, I would tell them "Thank you."
Today, I'm not going to write about Kaelyn's cold, but about something else that is weighing on my heart. On may way to drop Kaelyn off at Diana's yesterday morning, the radio station (new morning show) read off daily horoscopes. Mine (Libra) was "Be kind to those less fortunate than you. You have it pretty good"....so, so true. For reasons I can't really explain though, at that exact moment, I thought of the Sullivans. I have never met them (although we share the same extended Air Force family) and honestly, couldn't even remember their names at that moment they crossed my mind.
Who are they? Well, Kaelyn was born about 5 weeks early on September 21 in the evening. I had developed a fever during labor and was not allowed in the NICU that night to see her. The next day, Sept 22, when my fever broke, I pretty much stayed at her bedside. But, becaues I had her early, I had not tied up loose ends at work (I was expecting to still be there for at least a few more weeks). Roger brought my computer to the hospital and that afternoon I went back up to my room to check and send some emails and return phone calls from the day before. It took longer than I expected and I was antsy to go back down and see Kaelyn. But, before I did, I decided to check Facebook and possibly add a status update on her birth.
The first thing I saw, however, was a prayer request from friends of mine stationed in Misawa, Japan (which also happens to be a former duty station of mine). Sara Sullivan had died that day, just two weeks after giving birth to her daughter. There was a link to their family blog and what I read there broke my heart. She underwent chemotherapy while pregnant and overcame so many hurdles only to lose her life to an unrelated complication (it appears of giving birth). It was too much, emotionally, to read at that time and unfortunately, after I put the computer away, I never went back to their blog for an update.
So, thinking of them suddenly yesterday came as a small surprise to me. I made a mental note to goole their blog when I got home that afternoon, but because Kaelyn isn't feeling well, forgot all about it. Well, something was going on yesterday because once we got Kaelyn comfortably to sleep, I got on the computer with the intent of writing something interesting about Groundhog Day. Instead, I got sidetracked reading another friend's blog and accidently stumbled upon another link to the Sullivan's.
I read through their blog last night. Not all of it, but some recent updates, I went back to September and all the way back to the beginning, when they first found out about both the pregnancy and the cancer. I read some in between where I found that the pregnancy (for obvious reasons) wasn't easy. But through it all, one thing about them sticks out. They are truly joyful! They never, regardless of the challenges laid before them, ever said anything negative. They have hope and faith in God. They are comforted by His Love. Their attitude it truly, truly one of pure joy. And it's amazing!
Roger and I have a lot of conversations about our hopes and dreams for Kaelyn. It's fun for us to talk about all the wonderful things she can do and dream about what any of those things may be. But the one thing that we know, without a doubt, that we want for her, is happiness. Reading the Sullivan's blog, I learned that happiness and joy is a choice. We have God's love and that is more than enough to make us happy. Any other challenge or heartache is just another opportunity to rejoice in the good that God has provided. If I can teach Kaelyn that, then I have done my job as her mother.
I know it can't be easy to go through what the Sullivan's have. I may never meet them here on this earth. I cannot begin to pay tribute to Sara or do her any justice in my attempt. But I know that they have reached me and if I could, I would tell them "Thank you."
Monday, February 1, 2010
Long Walks and Late Nights
Roger is pretty handy. He can fix or build just about anything. Not only does he regularly make improvements to our house, but he's also always willing to lend a hand to a friend in need. Tonight that friend was Barbara...in need of an outlet to plug in her new tv (one she hasn't actually purchased yet). We decided that it would be fun to hang out a little bit while Roger was working, so after work, I met him and Kaelyn at her house downtown.
We decided to take Kaelyn and her dog, Andiamo, for a walk. I needed both the exercise and to break in the new running shoes that Roger bought me for Christmas (yes, I realize it's February)! Considering the weather we've been having lately, the night was actually perfect. A little chilly and a lot refreshing. The three miles we did seemed more like a short walk in the park.
After our walk and once Roger was finished, we decided to run down to the corner bistro and grab dinner. It was nice to actually hang out and do something besides errands after work. Going out was once a daily occurance for me, but I haven't had the energy in so long. Even now, it's only 9:30 and I'm thinking that I need to go to bed.
But, as tired as I am, I'm learning that having Kaelyn does not stop me from doing the things I used to do. It's a little more challenging, but she's easy to take places. In the four short months she's been with us, we have taken her shopping several times, to several parties, to friends' houses, and for long drives. Having us as parents, she's going to have to be a good at being on the go. The "mild" outings we've had with her so far has proven that as long as she can eat when she's hungry, she's good. A happy-go-lucky girl, just going with the flow!
I think I'm ready to try a longer trip with her. Maybe a day trip to a winery or an overnight stay somewhere. We already have plans to take her camping, across the continent to visit two sets of grandparents, and to Europe...all this year! Our trips are going to get more complicated, so I guess it's time to do some practice runs a little more local. Now that I know how "easy" it is to both have a baby and keep up (almost) with Roger's and my old life style, I can't wait to get on the move again. But until then, I need sleep...the morning still come way too fast.
Good night and God Bless!
BS
We decided to take Kaelyn and her dog, Andiamo, for a walk. I needed both the exercise and to break in the new running shoes that Roger bought me for Christmas (yes, I realize it's February)! Considering the weather we've been having lately, the night was actually perfect. A little chilly and a lot refreshing. The three miles we did seemed more like a short walk in the park.
After our walk and once Roger was finished, we decided to run down to the corner bistro and grab dinner. It was nice to actually hang out and do something besides errands after work. Going out was once a daily occurance for me, but I haven't had the energy in so long. Even now, it's only 9:30 and I'm thinking that I need to go to bed.
But, as tired as I am, I'm learning that having Kaelyn does not stop me from doing the things I used to do. It's a little more challenging, but she's easy to take places. In the four short months she's been with us, we have taken her shopping several times, to several parties, to friends' houses, and for long drives. Having us as parents, she's going to have to be a good at being on the go. The "mild" outings we've had with her so far has proven that as long as she can eat when she's hungry, she's good. A happy-go-lucky girl, just going with the flow!
I think I'm ready to try a longer trip with her. Maybe a day trip to a winery or an overnight stay somewhere. We already have plans to take her camping, across the continent to visit two sets of grandparents, and to Europe...all this year! Our trips are going to get more complicated, so I guess it's time to do some practice runs a little more local. Now that I know how "easy" it is to both have a baby and keep up (almost) with Roger's and my old life style, I can't wait to get on the move again. But until then, I need sleep...the morning still come way too fast.
Good night and God Bless!
BS
Just a Little Consistency Please!
I'm not the type of person that flips through radio stations trying to find the perfect song to sing along to. I don't really listen to CDs while I'm driving either. I set the radio to a station and leave it there. If I hear the same song 4 times during my drive, so be it.
The only time I really actually listen to the radio is during my morning commute...and this is the only time I'm really picky about what I'm hearing. I need the perfect mixture of current music, traffic, weather, and local news. National news is ok, but I only want the big stuff. I also like the DJs to be fun and personable. They can't talk too much, but a little bit of BS in the morning is good. Political opinions and rants is one thing that will make me change the station.
I found the perfect morning show when I first moved to Sacramento. The music was a nice mixture of current and old favorites. Sean and Jeff, the DJ's, were fun to listen to and they didn't talk too much. For about a year, maybe a little longer, I welcomed them into my morning....happily listening to them while I got ready for work and sometimes sitting in my car in the parking lot to listen to them finish a story. I really really like them.
But one awful day, my first day back at work after a vacation in Mexico, Sean and Jeff were gone. Replaced by another duo. Did I have the car on the wrong station? Was it not actually Monday morning? What in the world was going on? The radio station advertised something new and different. Ok...that is what I got, but I didn't like it. I just couldn't get into the new show. My morning drives became stressful. Something needed to change. And change it did.
The station didn't keep this new show for long. They brought Sean back (yeah!) and gave him a new partner, this time a girl...a very likeable one. It took them some time to get into their groove and me even more time to warm up to them as a duo, but I did get there, and for a few more months, I was once again happily driving to work. But that relationship didn't last long either.
Next, the station brought me a trio. Two guys and girl, all with very different personalities and backgrounds. I think this was supposed to add some interest and exitement to my morning, but all it did was drive me crazy. It got to the point where I just wanted them to be quiet and play the music. They gave me a headache. But, something miraculous happened...they grew on me. And just when I accepted them as my new morning show...they were axed.
It was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore. I heard the station was bringing in a show that would stream from Vegas. Not good enough. I needed my people to be local. So, I gave up. I wanted consistency, and this radio station just couldn't give it to me. I've heard their promises and I just didn't trust them anymore. I lived in fear of who would be talking to me every time I got into the car.
I switched stations (and muscial genres) and found what I had been missing. A new duo, Dave and Susan. It seemed, from show advertisements, that they hadn't been together for long, but I instantly liked them. These two, I could get into. And this was a new station...one, I was sure wouldn't tear my people away from me....WRONG!
For the last few weeks Dave and Susan have been gone. I falsely held on to hope that this was a temporary thing. Maybe they were on vacation and would be back. The new guy never said. Then, the other morning, I heard an advertisement that told me I had asked for more music and traffic, and no talking. What? I never asked for that? Did anyone really ask for that? Does this mean Dave and Susan aren't coming back?
I complained to Roger. He suggested that I switch to Pat and Tom...they are on a different radio station and wake us up in the morning (although they haven't needed to since we brought Kaelyn home). I do like Pat and Tom...that could work. So, this morning, I decided to switch again. Pat and Tom it is...but, something stopped me. All of a sudden it hit me that maybe it was me. If I let Pat and Tom into my morning drive, it would be the same as sealing their fate. A few months could be all they have left, and then they'd be gone too. I can't do that to them...and I can't do that to myself again. I left the station alone...and seethed all the way to work. I don't like the morning show I have, and I know, logically, that the radio station shows do not really revolve around me. I cannot get DJs fired just by listening to them. But, I'm still scared. All I want is some consistency in my morning!
Do I risk it or do I suffer through what I have so I never have to feel the stress of losing my show again? It seems I've had this dillemma before (not just with radio shows), and I think, I've always been happier when I've taken the chance. So, Pat and Tom it is! Tomorrow...
The only time I really actually listen to the radio is during my morning commute...and this is the only time I'm really picky about what I'm hearing. I need the perfect mixture of current music, traffic, weather, and local news. National news is ok, but I only want the big stuff. I also like the DJs to be fun and personable. They can't talk too much, but a little bit of BS in the morning is good. Political opinions and rants is one thing that will make me change the station.
I found the perfect morning show when I first moved to Sacramento. The music was a nice mixture of current and old favorites. Sean and Jeff, the DJ's, were fun to listen to and they didn't talk too much. For about a year, maybe a little longer, I welcomed them into my morning....happily listening to them while I got ready for work and sometimes sitting in my car in the parking lot to listen to them finish a story. I really really like them.
But one awful day, my first day back at work after a vacation in Mexico, Sean and Jeff were gone. Replaced by another duo. Did I have the car on the wrong station? Was it not actually Monday morning? What in the world was going on? The radio station advertised something new and different. Ok...that is what I got, but I didn't like it. I just couldn't get into the new show. My morning drives became stressful. Something needed to change. And change it did.
The station didn't keep this new show for long. They brought Sean back (yeah!) and gave him a new partner, this time a girl...a very likeable one. It took them some time to get into their groove and me even more time to warm up to them as a duo, but I did get there, and for a few more months, I was once again happily driving to work. But that relationship didn't last long either.
Next, the station brought me a trio. Two guys and girl, all with very different personalities and backgrounds. I think this was supposed to add some interest and exitement to my morning, but all it did was drive me crazy. It got to the point where I just wanted them to be quiet and play the music. They gave me a headache. But, something miraculous happened...they grew on me. And just when I accepted them as my new morning show...they were axed.
It was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore. I heard the station was bringing in a show that would stream from Vegas. Not good enough. I needed my people to be local. So, I gave up. I wanted consistency, and this radio station just couldn't give it to me. I've heard their promises and I just didn't trust them anymore. I lived in fear of who would be talking to me every time I got into the car.
I switched stations (and muscial genres) and found what I had been missing. A new duo, Dave and Susan. It seemed, from show advertisements, that they hadn't been together for long, but I instantly liked them. These two, I could get into. And this was a new station...one, I was sure wouldn't tear my people away from me....WRONG!
For the last few weeks Dave and Susan have been gone. I falsely held on to hope that this was a temporary thing. Maybe they were on vacation and would be back. The new guy never said. Then, the other morning, I heard an advertisement that told me I had asked for more music and traffic, and no talking. What? I never asked for that? Did anyone really ask for that? Does this mean Dave and Susan aren't coming back?
I complained to Roger. He suggested that I switch to Pat and Tom...they are on a different radio station and wake us up in the morning (although they haven't needed to since we brought Kaelyn home). I do like Pat and Tom...that could work. So, this morning, I decided to switch again. Pat and Tom it is...but, something stopped me. All of a sudden it hit me that maybe it was me. If I let Pat and Tom into my morning drive, it would be the same as sealing their fate. A few months could be all they have left, and then they'd be gone too. I can't do that to them...and I can't do that to myself again. I left the station alone...and seethed all the way to work. I don't like the morning show I have, and I know, logically, that the radio station shows do not really revolve around me. I cannot get DJs fired just by listening to them. But, I'm still scared. All I want is some consistency in my morning!
Do I risk it or do I suffer through what I have so I never have to feel the stress of losing my show again? It seems I've had this dillemma before (not just with radio shows), and I think, I've always been happier when I've taken the chance. So, Pat and Tom it is! Tomorrow...
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