Diet Update

I started this blog with the intention of using it to keep myself accountable on losing my baby weight. I gained 80 pounds during pregnancy!! So far, I’ve maybe lost 30…that leaves me 50 to go. Almost one year later. That sucks.


Anyway, I had good intentions. I was going to be painfully honest about my weight, my food, etc. I was going to get it through my thick skull that the days of me eating whatever I wanted had caught up to me. I was going to eat right, realize that my body has changed forever and be skinny again by Kaelyn’s first birthday.

So, that didn’t happen…and neither did using this blog to keep myself accountable. The truth is, it’s just too hard for me to own up to my shortcomings and I’d much rather talk about the everyday things in my life, than my diet…the bane of my existence.

I was hoping that blogging about it would help, because the thought of people, including myself, knowing my weight is terrifying to me. And, therefore, pretty motivating. I wanted to lose weight quickly. Breastfeeding wasn’t the miracle diet that it was hyped up to be. Weight didn’t just start falling off me. So, I tried some extreme stuff. I tried no carbs…that lasted for two weeks and I lost 10 lbs. Then, after I pigged out on pasta, I quit. After that, I tried Michael Thurman. I didn’t buy the program, just sort of cheated off another friend who’s had some success with it. That lasted for one week in which I lost 8lbs…but as good as it was, it’s just not realistic for me to cut out all sodium, all wheat products, all carbs, etc. So, I quit that.

I’ve been pretty depressed about this. I’ve never been fat a day in my life. I never really had to worry about what I was eating or how much I exercised. And if I ever wanted to lose a dress size for a party, a vacation, my wedding, I just upped my workouts, ate more vegetables and would lose weight in an instant. Those days are over. My metabolism has taken a nose dive. I’ve lived this past year as a fat person…and the majority of the year before that as a pregnant person. I don’t like it. It makes me feel like crap.

Five weeks ago, I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to get on the scale. I didn’t want to face the truth. (At the doctor’s office, I don’t look at my weight…and they don’t tell me). And even though they are pretty private about our weights, the leader knows, and I know. Not good. But, facing the scale in a semi-public forum is doing exactly what I was hoping this blog would do. It’s keeping me accountable. And it’s doing more…it’s tapping into my competitive side. The part of me that looks at this as a game between me and the scale. A game I’m going to win. Every week so far, I’ve lost weight. The scale had a pretty good head start at the beginning of this race, but every week, I’m chipping away at the gap. I’m getting closer and that’s good. In 4 weeks, I lost 12 lbs. And I feel better. I’m motivated to keep going and not having to give up anything in particular…not looking at food as the enemy has made it even easier.

Now that Kaelyn is eating more solids, changing my family’s diet is even more important to me. Looking back, even though I’ve always eaten a lot of food, my diet hasn’t been that bad. Since I love to cook, most of what I ate was fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, of course pasta (it’s not the devil food…I promise) etc. I would eat desserts, but not every day. Since I got married, things have been different. Roger, although a great cook, wasn’t used to cooking for himself every day. He would grill himself a steak for dinner and make a box of macaroni and cheese. He never ate vegetables. Frozen pizzas, frozen meatballs, and hotdogs were a mainstay for him. He loves to snack, so he always has chips, cookies, crackers, etc, around. For me, these foods are triggers, so I never bought them. If I was motivated enough to leave the house and buy myself a small bag of chips, then I figured I deserved it. I never made it easy for myself to have these foods.

When Roger and I married, I didn’t want to deprive him of everything he was used to. I let him buy his frozen pizzas and his potato chips, but naively thought that if I took over the cooking, those things would slowly disappear from his diet. But, when pregnancy hit, it was just easier to let him feed me…and he fed me his stuff…and I ate it…and I gained 80 lbs. After Kaelyn was born and I went back to work, we split up the cooking duties. He has half the days, I have the other half…Sundays we cook together. This helped me out a lot as far as finding time to get everything done. But on Roger’s day, it’s usually take out, hot dogs, or meat and potatoes.

After my first weight watchers meeting, I had a talk with Roger. I told him that I didn’t want to be tempted by his foods anymore and I didn’t want Kaelyn growing up with this kind of diet. In order for her to be healthy, and me to lose weight, Roger had to change his habits too. He resisted at first. He tried to bargain with me. “What’s wrong with having pizza on Friday nights only?” “Or what’s so bad about take-out Chinese? It’s meat and vegetables, and rice.” And my personal favorite..”Kids love hotdogs! Are you really suggesting that we deny Kaelyn this staple?”

This wasn’t an easy conversation. Trying to convince him that we could still eat pizza and hotdogs and have some chips every so often, but not every day or even once a week, wasn’t easy. But he eventually decided to give me a chance. On his days, he actually cooks. Since he loves to grill that hasn’t been a problem, but instead of potatoes or French fries as sides, he cooks frozen vegetables. On my days, I’m more elaborate. I experiment with creating dishes that use fresh fruits, vegetables, and herbs. I put a little freshly grated asiago cheese on his vegetables to make them more appealing to him. I also cook about twice as much as I know we’ll eat, because I’ve noticed that when I do, Roger will heat it up as leftovers on his days. It makes it easier for him, sure…but it’s better food for us to eat, so I don’t mind.

We still love pasta, but we’ve cut way back. We make it ourselves. The fat and calorie content may be the same, but I figure eating it fresh at least leaves out the extra preservatives and sugar. It also tastes a lot better! Besides, having to make it, ensures that we only eat it on days when we have enough time to make it…it’s prevented pasta from being the “we have no time, what can we make in 30 minutes or less” dinner option.

We enjoy our food and savor it, but we also sit down outside and talk to each other (instead of watch tv) and we tend to eat less as a result! Another trick I use is to feed Kaelyn her dinner while we are eating ours. (I used to feed her first, then Roger and I could concentrate on our dinner and Kae would just sit with us.) Concentrating on her, makes me eat much slower, which gives time for my “full” reflex to kick in.

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Roger still struggles a little. I notice that he still eats the foods we’re trying to avoid…just not around me. The other day he was home for lunch and made himself some hotdogs…and I found a bag of potato chips stashed in the very back of our top pantry shelf (it wasn’t there earlier in the week). When I made Kaelyn’s practice cakes, I would eat one small slice the day I baked it. Roger would eat the rest…usually getting up sometime in the middle of the night to have a slice. This weekend, I saw an open box of Girl Scout cookies on his workbench and realized that he’s storing his supply of snacks in the garage and eating them when he’s outside working…sneaky!

I admit I get annoyed with this at times. Seeing the evidence of his resistance…but, I do know that he’s trying and he’s being as supportive as he knows how to be. He’s not eating these things in front of me, he’s eating more vegetables and he’s gotten into the habit of having a small bowl of grapes before bed…as opposed to the bowl of ice cream he used to eat. I also have to remember that his is harder for him. He’s never eaten the way I’m asking him to. I have. Maybe not in the last two years, but I’m returning to old habits while he’s trying to create all new ones. Plus, he’s lost weight too. He’s not tracking, so we don’t know how much, but I can see the difference…in both of us.

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In full discloser, I’m not really following Weight Watchers to the tee. I haven’t logged food or counted points since the first week. But, I am aware of what is better vs. what is worse to eat. I already know what a healthy diet looks like…I just need the motivation of the scale…and so far, it’s working great.

Normally, today would be a weigh-in day, but the group voted to skip it the day after long weekends…I voted against this, but I was the only one. I still tried to act like I would be facing the scale today…so I wouldn’t lose momentum. I don’t weigh myself at home, so I have no idea how much I’ve actually lost this past week, but I’m sure I lost something. I’m hoping at least 2 lbs…which would put me at a total 14 lbs lost since starting. My goal is to register a total of 16 lbs lost by next Tuesday…that’s 4 lbs in 2 weeks. Not undoable at all.

I’m feeling much better lately too. My clothes are fitting much nicer. Buttoning my jeans isn’t difficult. I also noticed my waist this morning! I haven’t seen that in forever! I’m still nowhere near the size (4) I was before I got married, but I’m getting there…just a couple to three more sizes, about 50 lbs, and I’m guessing one more year and I’ll be there. So, that’s my new goal. As skinny as I was by Kaelyn’s 2nd birthday and a little bit skinnier every week. Mostly, I want us all to be healthy…and we are. It gets better every day…yeah!